


Kill Me With Words

by thatscalledyes



Series: Beth/Andy [1]
Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: BVB, Black Veil Brides - Freeform, Depression, F/M, OFC - Freeform, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-01-13 03:16:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 32,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1210615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatscalledyes/pseuds/thatscalledyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I did not write this chapter. My friend did. She and I were going to co-write this and she wrote only 2 chapters (this being one of them) and recently told me that she's too busy to continue so I'm going to finish it on my own. I'll post a note on the second chapter she wrote. Otherwise, all the other chapters are written by me.</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. This is Maiden Voyage

The past four years of her life went by as one giant blur.

Beth had never thought that her band, Maiden Voyage, would have ever gotten anywhere when her and her best friend Spencer started the band when they were in high school. Now they were about to be a part of one of the best tours in history.

Warped Tour.

Warped tour isn't just like any other tour. Warped tour is the ultimate concert and it had been Beth's dream to perform on the Warped stages alongside some of her idols. Now, she was finally living her dream. And her biggest idol of all was going to be joining her on this crazy ride.

Andy Biersack.

Not only has Beth been a fan of Black Veil Brides since the band started, but Andy saved her life. A lot of people don't understand how a band or one person that doesn't even know you can be such a powerful image in your life. Beth didn't even understand how Andy helped save her but he did. And now was her chance to finally be around him. She was finally equal with him.

"Beth! Hurry up, we're all waiting on you!" Spencer called up from down stairs.

"Coming!" Beth called back as she skipped down the staircase and jumped off the second to last stair. "I'm surprised I'm the last one to be ready. I would have thought Heidi would be." Beth joked and everyone laughed except of course, Heidi.

Heidi just rolled her eyes and walked out the door to the car, dragging her bags behind her. Heidi was somewhat of a stuck up bitch and everyone knew it; even Heidi. She actually embraced it and decided it was who she wanted people to know her as.

Spencer grabbed Beth's bags and brought them out to the car with Marcus and Emily following behind him.

"Be safe, okay?" Beth's father gave his daughter a hug.

"Dad, you're driving us to the airport... It's not the final goodbye yet. And it's only three months and then I'll be home." Beth assured her father.

He nodded, kissing his daughter on the forehead and grabbing his car keys. The two went out to the car to join the rest of the band and they were off to the airport. The five of them were about to start the next three amazing months of their life.

\--

When they finally arrived at the airport, her dad helped the group with their plane tickets and luggage to before seeing them off to the plane.

Beth stopped right before the tunnel to turn around and waved goodbye to her father one last time before following Spencer through the tunnel and onto the plane.

"This is pretty exciting, isn't it?" Spencer said as they walked down the aisle, looking for their seats.

Spencer was a sweetheart. He was Beth's best friend since their freshman year of high school when she told off his bullies and saved him from getting beaten and thrown in a trash can. Ever since that day, he's felt indebted to her. Spencer is constantly trying to take care of Beth and is always there when she needs help.

"You have no idea, Spence. Okay, maybe you do... But I'm seriously so excited right now. I can't believe this." Beth beamed.

Spencer looked down at his plane ticket and back up at the numbers above the seats. "Here's my row." He said, sliding into the seat his ticket was assigned to. "What number do you have?"

"Oh, right here." Beth said pointing to the seat right across the aisle from him.

"Sweet, at least we're not too far away from each other." Spencer said as Beth sat down in her seat.

"Um, excuse me. Can I get in here? My seat is right next to you." A deep voice asked.

Beth looked up and saw the last person she ever expected to be standing in front of her. Andy Biersack. She stood up and let him in before sitting back down awkwardly in her seat. This was going to be the most interesting plane ride of her life.


	2. So, Warped Tour?

The flight started and Beth couldn’t help but feel totally nervous and uncomfortable in her seat. Not because she was afraid of flights, it was just the fact that Andy Biersack, her idol and inspiration in life was sitting next to her.

  
After an hour Beth was about to doze off, when suddenly someone tried to speak to her. She immediately sat up in her seat only to realize that Andy was looking at her with a slight smile forming on his lips.

  
‘’Excuse me?’’ Beth asked because she didn’t realize that Andy obviously asked her something.

  
‘’Are you on your way to Warped?’’ He asked, smile still playing on his lips.

  
‘’Oh- uh yeah, me and my band are one of the acts there’’ She felt slightly awkward, but Andy didn’t seem to care, instead he just continued with the now starting conversation.

  
‘’Oh, you are one of the bands? What’s your band’s name?’’ Andy asked, curiosity sparkling in his eyes. He automatically gained some more interest in a conversation when music gets involved, especially bands he hadn’t heard of yet.

  
‘’Maiden Voyage. We’re a mix between Post-Hardcore and Pop Rock. I am the lead singer and the young man to your left is Spencer, he’s the lead guitarist. It’s actually pretty exciting for us, since it’s the first time we’re going to play at Warped Tour. It has always been our dream to play there and now we’re on our way!’’ Beth explained, slightly laughing which caused Andy to laugh too a little.

Andy looked at Spencer and gave him a little smile, which Spencer returned.

  
‘’Well, that sounds pretty nice to me. I’ll make sure to check you guys out. But oh, before I forget my name is Andy and I play in Black Veil Brides’’ he proudly noted and Beth smiled a bit, before letting him know that she’s aware of who he is.

  
‘’Yeah you guys are one of my favorite bands and I look up to you a lot’’ she shyly explained and Andy grinned in response.

‘’Oh well, thank you. I’m flattered. What’s your name by the way if you don’t mind to tell me?’’ he asked Beth. The two of them got pretty stuck in this conversation that Andy even forgot to ask her what her name is.

‘’Beth. Beth Gavin’’

  
‘’Well nice to meet you Beth.’’ Andy said, showing more interest before he asked her some more questions. ‘’At what time and stage are you guys performing? I want to make sure I’ll have the time to check you out and hopefully hang out with you a bit more’’ Andy told her and Beth’s heart skipped a beat. Andy Biersack from Black Veil Brides wants to watch her band perform and hang out with them? That was like a dream which slowly turned into reality.

‘’3.30PM on the Monster Energy Stage. We’re starting right before Memphis May Fire, which is pretty exciting too. I love this band. The only thing is, that I’m really nervous and I'm just having a hard time handling all this’’ Beth said with a half smile. Andy chuckled at her excitement about all of that, since he was pretty used to stuff like that. He started to tell her about his first huge shows, how nervous he was and gave her a few tips how to keep calm and relax, just focus on the performance. Beth listened with huge interest, without avoiding her eyes off his face. She tried to listen to his actual words, but it was really hard for her. He was just too gorgeous.

  
While Andy and Beth continued with their previous conversation, Spencer couldn’t help but glare at Andy all the time and feel totally jealous, because he knew how much Beth looked up to Andy and how much she loved him. The way she looks at him, the way she adores him. He just couldn’t tell her, because he was just too shy and afraid of turning their wonderful friendship into something really awkward. Not yet.

  
After two hours the plane finally landed and everyone made their way to the exit.

Beth met Andy at the terminal once more, only for him to walk up to her.

  
‘’There you are again! So, Monster Energy Stage at 3.30? I’ll be there.’’ Andy smiled which made Beth even more excited for the show.  
Andy Biersack will be watching her perform. If that’s a dream, then please don’t let it end, she thought.

  
‘’Amazing. Can’t wait.’’ with that they both waved goodbye and made their way to the final exit, where their ways separated to different vans and bring each band to their hotels, only to make their way to Warped from there.

  
Well this is going to be an interesting day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not write this chapter. My friend did. She and I were going to co-write this and she wrote only 2 chapters (this being one of them) and recently told me that she's too busy to continue so I'm going to finish it on my own. I'll post a note on the second chapter she wrote. Otherwise, all the other chapters are written by me.


	3. Fancy seeing you here

"Please tell me you aren't going to get stuck in Biersackland while we're on this tour." Spencer pleaded as he and Beth walked down the hallway of the hotel, searching for their rooms.

Beth rolled her eyes at him. "Hey. If this was Jenna McDougall instead of Andy Biersack I wouldn't be complaining."

"But Jenna is hot!" Spencer whined.

"And Andy isn't?" Beth challenged.

"Not to me..." Spencer mumbled and Beth laughed. "Hey, this is my room." Spencer said, stopping in front of the door labeled 415.

"I'll see you later on?" She asked and he nodded.

As he swiped the room key and Beth walked away, someone ran past him sending a gust of wind straight at him.

"Hey, Beth! Wait up!" The voice called out.

Beth turned around to see Andy jogging over to her. She smiled. "Hey, Andy! What's up?"

"Fancy running into you again." He chuckled and flashed her that brilliant smile of his.

She blushed at the sight of his perfect smile and looked down at her black Vans. "Yeah, yeah it is." She looked back up at him to see his attention was no longer on her but on something or someone behind her.

"Who's that?" He asked, pointing to the people behind her.

Beth turned around and saw Emily and Heidi walking in their direction. "Oh, that's our rhythm guitarist, Emily. She sure knows how to make a statement with that pastel blue hair of hers."

Andy started shaking his head slightly, keeping his gazed fixed on the girls behind her. "No, not her. The other one. The one with the tattoos and black hair."

Beth looked over at Heidi with her tattoos, long legs, silky black hair, and gorgeous red lips that would make any man go weak at the knees. He had discovered Heidi and she knew that he was never going to want her now.

"Oh," The enthusiasm in her voice decreased. "You mean Heidi, our bass player."

"Is that her name?" He asked, still staring at her.

"Yeah..." Beth trailed off.

Andy tore his gaze away from the seductive looking Heidi and looked back over at the small, sweet little Beth. "Sorry," He apologized. "I was talking to you. I didn't mean to get distracted."

"No, it's okay..." Beth answered. "My room is right here, anyway." She said, pointing to the door to her right labeled 422.

"Really?" Andy's voice was tinted with surprise. "My room is right across from yours!"

"Wow," Beth tried to sound excited but it was hard when she knew Andy was going to be right across the hall from Heidi, too.

"Hey, Bethany. Who's this?" Heidi strutted up to them in her heels that made her taller than Andy.

"I told you not to call me Bethany..." She mumbled.

"I'm Andy. I sing in the band Black Veil Brides." He introduced himself.

"Emily, come with me." Beth grabbed Emily by the wrist and pulled her into their hotel room. She couldn't handle Heidi's obvious flirting any longer.

As soon as Emily closed the door behind her, Beth screamed out of frustration. "Fucking Heidi! I can't believe her! Every guy I start to like or get close to, she has to go ahead and steal them right out from under me! This so isn't fair!"

"Why did you even let her be in the band in the first place?" Emily asked quietly. Emily was always very quiet.

Beth thought for a moment. Emily had a good point. Why did she let Heidi be in the band anyway? "I don't know." She finally said.

Emily just shrugged. She didn't know what to do in a situation like this. "Maybe you should just confront her? Tell her straight up how you feel?"

Beth groaned. "I can't do that, Emily. Do you know what she would do to me? She's a manipulator. She would figure out a way to ruin this tour even more for me."

Emily shrugged again but this time said nothing. She didn't know what else to say to help make Beth feel better.

The door swung open and in came the queen bitch.

\--

"Andy Biersack is going to ruin this entire tour for me." Spencer flopped on the bed.

"What can I tell you, bro? There's always going to be that guy that's just slightly better looking than you." Marcus said.

Spencer glared at him. "Yeah, thanks for making me feel better, Marcus."

Marcus shrugged. "Look, man. We all know you have a major school girl crush on Beth, okay? Why not man up and actually ask her out?"

Spencer shook his head. "No, no. I can't do that. It'll ruin everything. Our whole friendship will be ruined."

Marcus sighed. "Well, then I don't know what else to tell you. It's up to you now. You either man up and get to her before Andy does, or let her be swept away by her knight in shining leather."

Spencer groaned, resting his head on the pillow and throwing his glasses to the floor. There was no way he was going to be able to get up the courage to tell Beth the truth.


	4. Betrayal

It was their very first show of Warped and Beth was on cloud nine. Not only was she excited about playing, but Andy was going to be there cheering her on. She couldn't believe that her idol was going to be standing on side stage watching her sing her heart out like she watched him sing his heart out on stage so many times before.

"Maiden Voyage in three." A stage hand sauntered by with his walkie in his hand.

"Spencer, I can't do this." Beth said, suddenly feeling the nerves hit her like a three ton bus.

"Breathe." He said. "You can. I'll be right there next to you on stage. And... Andy will be watching." He choked out the name like it was lodged in his throat.

"You're right. You're right." She began taking deep breaths to try and calm her nerves.

"Maiden Voyage, you're a go." The same stage hand from before announced and Beth stood frozen where she was.

"Beth, come on." Spencer coaxed and gave her a tiny push to get her walking.

She nodded slightly and walked out onto the stage with Spencer still by her side. She looked out into the crowd of people and her jaw dropped at the sight. There had to be at least a hundred people crowded around the small stage to hear her sing and watch the band perform.

She nervously glanced over at Spencer who gave her a reassuring nod. 'You're okay' his eyes said to her.

"Wow." She said into the microphone. "Well, as most of you know, we're Maiden Voyage!" She exclaimed. "This first song is one of my favorites." She nodded towards Spencer who began in with the intro.

About half way through the show, she glanced over towards side stage and saw Andy and Ashley nodding their heads along with the music. She gave him a wide smile and he smiled back. Her heart fluttered and an immense sense of confidence arose in her.

Every so often, she would glance over at Andy only to find Heidi turning on her sex charm and making Andy go crazy over her. She shook it off and made sure she performed the rest of the show to the best of her abilities.

"Hey, you guys were awesome!" Andy said as Beth ran off stage, out of breath.

"Really?" She breathed heavily. "Th-Thanks."

"You guys want to go grab something to eat? I know I'm starving and you certainly must be too after that insane show you just played." Andy suggested.

Beth looked around at the rest of her band to make sure everyone agreed before agreeing herself. "Yeah, that'd be awesome!"

Her and the rest of her band followed Andy off the stage and back out to the buses. All except Heidi and Emily.

Emily had been putting her guitar away when the rest of the group decided to leave. When she went back out to join everyone, they were all gone. "Hey, where did everyone--" But then she stopped. She heard a weird noise coming from behind the stage.

When she peeked around the corner, she had to cover her mouth to keep herself from gasping too loud. In front of her, Heidi was practically sucking Ashley's face off. Emily knew Andy was going to be upset if he ever found out. Even though she had only really known Andy for a day or so, she easily picked up on other people's feelings. She knew Andy thought Heidi liked him. She knew how Andy felt about Heidi. He actually thought he had a chance with her.

She had to tell Beth. But should she? Would that just completely screw everything up? She didn't really know what to do. All she knew was that right now, she had to find the rest of the group before Heidi knew she was still there.


	5. Queen bitch strikes again

A few days had gone by since Emily's encounter with Ashley and Heidi. She was beginning to lose sleep over the secret she was keeping. She decided it was unhealthy for her to keep it to herself. She had to tell Beth. She knew it would probably make Beth go crazy but then again, the ball would be in Beth's court and she could do whatever she wanted with the information to leave Emily out of it.

When Emily walked into their hotel room, Beth was throwing clothes all over the floor. She dodged a t-shirt flying at her as she made her way closer to Beth.

"Um, Beth?" She spoke softly.

"Not now, Emily. Andy asked me out on a date and I _need_  to find the perfect outfit to wear." Beth tossed more clothes onto the floor.

"But Beth, I--" Emily began but was cut off again.

"Look, Emily. Whatever it is you have to tell me can wait, okay? Now _please_  help me look for something to wear, okay?"

Emily sighed. "Okay..." She gave in to Beth. Emily had noticed that whenever Andy was the subject of conversation, Beth would get extremely bitchy towards everyone unless they were talking about Andy as well. If someone tried to change the subject, Beth would practically rip the person's throat out for trying to change the topic.

After finally finding something for Beth to wear, Emily hoped this was her chance to tell Beth what she needed to.

"So Beth, about earlier. I was going to say--" But again, Emily was cut off by the sound of someone knocking on the door.

"It's Andy!" Beth exclaimed and skipped to the door.

"Hey, you look great." Andy complimented. "Ready to go?"

Beth nodded. "You can tell me whatever it is when I get back, Emily!" She called back to her friend and slammed the door shut on her way out.

Emily was left alone in the hotel room yet again. She sighed and decided to go over to Marcus's room. He would be willing to hang out with her and listen to her problems.

 

****

Beth still couldn't believe Andy had asked her out on a date. She had been almost positive that he liked Heidi more than her. Maybe he was finally coming to his senses and realizing that Heidi was a super massive bitch.

They walked into the small cafe together and it was the most adorable, romantic little place Beth had ever seen. She knew this was going to be a great date. That is, until, not even two seconds later, the queen bitch herself arrived, strutting through the door.

"I hope you don't mind, I invited Heidi." Andy said when he saw her walk in.

Beth secretly rolled her eyes. "Oh no, not at all..."

"I just thought since you're really good friends with her, you could, you know, help me out a little. I really like her." Andy nudged her.

Beth's whole heart sank. Did he really just ask her to play wing man? This whole day had done one big 360 and now it was becoming the worst day of her life.

Heidi clung to Andy's arm. She was clearly rubbing it in Beth's face that this date was about her and not Beth. Beth was just the third wheel in this situation and all she wanted to do was go back to the hotel.

"You know, Andy, I'm not feeling to well." Beth tried to make up an excuse to leave.

"Aw, come on, Beth. Stay for a little bit?" He encouraged while Heidi was giving her venomous glances.

When she heard him say her name, her heart began to melt and all she could think about was that sweet deep voice saying her name over and over again. It put her in a trance.

"Okay..." She agreed. "Just a little longer, I suppose."

A little longer turned into hours and she sat there with her heart being clawed out by her supposed friend.

"Alright, I have to go." She stood up abruptly from the table and grabbed her bag.

"But Beth--" Andy called after her but this time she didn't want to hear it. She stormed out of the building and rested against the brick wall outside. She slid down to a sitting position against the wall and let the black tears stain her cheeks.

"Hey," Someone said and sat down beside her. "You alright?"

She looked next to her to see CC sitting there looking concerned. "Yeah, yeah... I'm... I'm fine." She wiped away her blackened tears and tried to hold back the fresh ones that were starting to form behind her eyes.

"You sure don't look it." CC observed and put his hand on her knee. "Is it Andy?" He guessed.

Beth nodded and let more tears fall. "Heidi is just such a bitch." She said.

"Why are you even friends with her, Beth? She's clearly causing you some really bad mental anguish. It's not healthy."

Beth shrugged. "I don't know, CC. I really don't know why I've continued to keep her around like this."

CC looked at Beth with sympathy. "Why don't we go get some ice cream or something. Maybe it'll make you feel better."

Beth smiled through her tears. "Ice cream always makes everything better." She laughed slightly.

CC stood up and helped Beth up off the ground as well. The two walked off down the street together laughing, hand in hand.

Andy and Heidi had just exited the small cafe as soon as Beth and CC were a decent way down the sidewalk. Andy recognized CC's laugh and looked in the direction they were walking. For some reason, when he saw CC holding Beth's hand, he began to feel a strange pang in his chest. Was this... jealousy?


	6. Jealousy and Anger

''Thank you for saving my evening, CC.'' Beth said to CC as they approached the hotel. ''I really needed this.''

''No worries sunshine. Andy's been a dick to you and it's not fair. You didn't deserve this. I will talk to him about that, don't worry.'' CC replied and gave her a sympathetic smile.

''Are you sure? I don't want to you get in trouble with Andy just because of me...'' Beth suddenly felt really bad. If the boys get in a fight, it would be her fault. But on the other hand she hasn't done anything bad, Andy is the one to blame.

''Seriously don't worry about this. I got this.'' CC said and hugged her. ''Now get some rest and text me tomorrow if you like. We could catch up soon if you want?''

Beth gave him a sad smile and nodded. ''Sounds great. Thank you again, see you tomorrow.'' she hugged him back and left.

Just when she was about to enter her hotel room, someone called her name from behind. ''Beth wait!'' Andy.

''Beth!'' he approached her out of breath and began to talk again. ''Beth I'm sorry. I didn't want this evening to end like thi-'' he didn't finish his sentence because Beth cut him off. ''Andy it's alright. I should've known that someone like you wouldn't just ask someone like me out for a date.''  
Someone like him? What the hell was that all about? He obviously took it the wrong way and was pretty offended.  
''Excuse me? What do you mean by 'someone like you', am I not good enough for you or do you think I'm just some shitty asshole who only deserves sluts?'' Andy got pretty mad and made Beth feel uncomfortable, she took a step back and didn't know what to say. She was really upset about Andy taking it the wrong way. ''No! What are you talking about? I didn't mean tha-'' - ''Whatever, Beth. I just wanted to apologize for today, but it seems like I don't even need to. Goodnight'' he cut her off and turned to leave.

''Andy please! I really didn't mean it that way, just...'' she trailed off and gave up when she realized that Andy didn't seem to care anymore.

Beth hurried in her hotel room before locking the door and trying hard not to burst out in tears.  
She couldn't believe that Andy just got mad at her and didn't even want to listen to her, even though he was the cause of the whole problem.

She couldn't understand why he acted like that and before her bad temper was about to show, she decided to distract herself for now.

Emily was nowhere to be seen, probably out with the band or the guys from BVB.

Beth's phone buzzed, signaling her that she just received a text message. She looked at her phone just to see a text from Spencer.

'' _Hey Beth, just wanted to check on you. I hope you're alright? x_ '' she smiled at the message and replied without hesitation. She was pleased to know that someone still cared about her, but she didn't want to tell Spencer that everything just went down the drain, so she lied and replied.

'' _Hey. I'm fine don't worry. <3 I hope you're having fun, love you. xx_'' with that Beth threw her phone on the bed before falling on it. She covered her face with her hands and tried to relax, tried not to think about Andy or Heidi, not about what happened. She didn't want to get upset, but unfortunately it didn't work really well because she just started crying.

Andy, the man she admired so much, was mad at her for a wrong taken reason, obviously didn't like her the way she liked him and used her just to get to know Heidi better. Beth felt like crap and didn't feel like doing anything at the moment, she just remained there crying silently before she turned to the side and started shaking slightly.

She didn't want to do this anymore and she didn't care how pathetic she looked right now. She knew she had to talk to Andy soon again and figure everything out. She also knew she had to face Heidi soon again, it sure won't be all too great.

Beth got really tired after a while, that day was just way too much for her. She didn't even feel like getting up and change, she just fell asleep on her bed still fully dressed.  
She didn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my chapter. From here on out though, all chapters are written by me.


	7. It's all lies

When Beth woke up the next morning, she could barely open her eyes. They had been swollen shut from all the crying she had done the previous night over Andy. To cry over Andy the way she did sounded pathetic, and Beth knew it sounded pathetic. Andy was never going to love her the way she loved him and she needed to accept that fact. But she couldn't.

Emily was already awake when Beth had woken up. She missed Beth's crying session because she had been with Marcus late last night but she knew the real reason behind why her eyes were so red and swollen.

"Beth, what's going on with you? You look awful. What happened last night?" Emily went over to her and sat down next to her on the bed. Lucky for them, Heidi had spent the night in someone else's room, no doubt Andy or Ashley's.

"Nothing, Emily. I'm fine." Beth turned her face away from her friend.

Emily reached over and placed her hand on top of Beth's. "Look at me, please?" Beth looked over at Emily but could barely keep her eyes open from the swelling in her eyelids. Three hours of crying does that to you. "Is this because of Andy?"

Beth nodded slightly and felt more tears begin to form behind her eyes but swallowed them down. She couldn't afford to cry any more than she already had.

"Come on." Emily stood up and pulled Beth up with her. "Let's fix that face of yours and get you back out there. Why don't we grab Spencer and Marcus and go out somewhere before our set later this afternoon?"

Beth agreed but no amount of makeup could cover up the mess that was her face. She couldn't wear her contacts because her eyes were bloodshot and the makeup on her face looked clownish because of her puffy eyelids.

"Let's go. You look great." Emily encouraged and they stepped out of the safety of their room and into the vulnerability of the hallway. Beth never liked wearing her glasses and now that she had people looking at her with them on, she felt even more awful than she already felt.

"Beth!" Spencer hadn't seen her since yesterday and only just talked to her last night. When Beth turned around and he saw her, his attitude changed. He wasn't happy to see her anymore. He was worried about her. Last night she said she was fine. Right now, she didn't look fine. "Oh my god, what happened? Are you okay?" He rushed over to her side, slinging one arm around her shoulders.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. My mom called last night and said my grandma is in the hospital. But it's okay. She's doing alright, I think." Beth had to lie to Spencer. As much as she hated lying to anyone, she had to lie to him. She couldn't let him know she was crying about Andy. It would completely crush him. He would be the one crying next, but over her.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry." Spencer hugged her tightly.

"What's going on?" Andy entered the party in the hallway. "Beth, are you alright?"

"She's fine." Spencer answered for her. He became extremely protective over Beth whenever Andy was around and especially when Andy tried to show compassion and care towards her.

During this whole sympathy party, Heidi managed to sneak out of Ashley's room and join the others, making it look as though she had just come upstairs from the lobby. Heidi had a thing for Ashley and she liked him a lot more than she liked Andy. Andy wasn't easy like Ashley. And Ashley was more like her than Andy was.

"Andy," Heidi whined. "Can we please go have fun today?" She had him wrapped around her finger.

Andy pulled away from Heidi. "But I want to make sure Beth--"

"Beth is fine." Heidi interrupted. "She's a big girl and has other people to take care of her. Please, can we go?"

Andy wanted to stay and make sure Beth was alright but Heidi was pulling him away mentally and physically. He didn't even know what had happened to her but he knew something was wrong. He hated to see her crying and he hated to know she had been crying. He was afraid that there was more to Beth underneath the surface that wasn't all happy-go-lucky as she came off to be.


	8. Because Wendy's is classy

Emily, Marcus and Spencer had all agreed to take Beth out to make her feel better but everywhere they went was too expensive. They were still up and coming rock stars and didn't have much money to their name yet.

"Wendy's? Really?" Beth looked up at the sign with droopy eyes, exhaling loudly. "Why are we at Wendy's?"

Spencer laughed and took Beth's hand, dragging her inside with him and following behind Emily and Marcus.

"Because," Marcus stated, "Wendy's is classy."

"Marcus and I will order." Emily informed. "You guys can go find a table."

Spencer was still holding Beth's hand and she wasn't too sure how she felt about it. But she didn't want to just pull away and make him feel bad. Besides, Spencer's touch was comforting. She felt less alone inside when he was around. She didn't feel as hollow or empty.

Emily and Marcus arrived in no time with their food and everyone dug in; the only sound being that of clamping jaws. Beth sipped on her root beer as she looked around the table at her friends. These three people meant the world to her. And just watching them laugh and joke with one another gave her a sense of hope.

But then as she started nibbling on her french fries, she thought of Andy again. She thought of the way he looked at Heidi with such lust in his eyes. She wanted him to look at her that way and knew he never would.

"Beth? What's wrong?" Emily asked, noticing Beth's change in mood.

Beth shrugged, blinking back more tears. "Nothing..." She dropped the french fry she was holding and began to stand up. "I'll be back in a minute." She swung her bag over her shoulder and hurried down the hall to the ladies room.

Emily watched her walk away with a frown plastered on her face. She turned back to Marcus and Spencer. "Guys, I'm really worried about Beth. I don't know what's wrong. I've never seen her get this bad before."

Spencer cleared his throat. "I have a confession to make." He started. "I've liked Beth for a really long time and--"

"As if we didn't know that, Spence." Marcus joked.

Spencer peered up at him from behind his black framed glasses. "I just..." He tried to explain but couldn't.

Marcus continued. "Spence, we know you like Beth. Why don't you just ask her out? The worst that could happen is she says no. But at least try."

Emily nodded. "Yeah! Like, ask her to go to dinner with you or a movie or something sweet like that." Emily's voice was always so soft and feminine, making everything she suggested sound so appealing.

Spencer was still unsure of himself. He always had been, but especially when it came to Beth. He was most afraid of saying something to her that would change everything. If everything changed, he would lose his best and only friend.


	9. Hold my hand as I wish for death

Everyone was getting worried about Beth. She had been in the bathroom for much longer than she should have.

"I'm going to see what's wrong." Emily stood from the table and hurried to the bathroom. She pushed open the door and walked by an older woman to face the stall that she assumed Beth was in, since the other two were open. "Beth?" Emily called.

"Go away, Emily. I don't want to talk about it." Beth grumbled.

Emily glanced at the older woman who was washing her hands and giving Emily a dirty look. It was clear the woman wasn't fond of Emily's bright blue hair. Emily ignored her, and continued to lure Beth out of the stall.

"Come on, Beth. Spencer and Marcus are waiting out there." Emily said, trying to convince her to come out. The older woman at the sink rolled her eyes at Emily before exiting the bathroom. "Alright, Beth. It's just you and me in here. You have to tell me what's going on."

"No." Beth refused.

"You have Spencer thinking he did something wrong." Emily said. "He really cares about you, you know. He likes you a lot."

Beth unlocked the stall door and opened it. "He does?" She said with hope in her eyes.

"Yeah," Emily smiled weakly. "He really does."

Beth looked down at the tiled floor and let a small smile slip.

"Now please tell me what's going on." Emily let her hands find Beth's cold ones. "I've never seen you this bad before, and I've seen you at your worst."

Beth didn't speak. She just stood there, thinking of Andy. The image of him staring after Heidi was burned in her mind. No guy ever looked at her that way, and Andy never would.

"It's Andy, isn't it." Emily guessed.

Beth nodded slightly and broke. She inhaled sharply as tears stung her eyes. Her body shook as she rested her forehead against Emily's shoulder as Emily wrapped her arms around her best friend protectively. Beth had never felt so alone in her whole life. She had three great friends that she spent almost every waking moment with, but still her life felt incomplete. A fog was settled over her eyes, and she couldn't see past it. She couldn't see how truly loved she really was. All she felt was alone all the time.

****

Spencer sat across from Marcus with his hands wringing together under the table. "I'm getting really worried about Beth." He admitted.

"I'm sure Emily has it under control." Marcus sat back, locking his fingers together and cracking his joints before resting his hands behind his head.

Spencer looked down and shifted his glass up on his nose with his index finger. All he could think of was Beth. "How do you do it, Marcus?"

"Do what?" Marcus asked, sitting up straight.

"Be... You know... So calm all the time. It's as though you don't really care about anything." Spencer observed. He wanted to be more like Marcus. Marcus was always so calm about everything. He had this aura of rebellion surrounding him. He was mysterious, and Spencer wanted to be like that. Spencer was tired of being walked all over by Heidi and wanted most of all to finally tell Beth how he really felt. His shyness overpowered his confidence and held him back.

"You don't want to be like me Spence." Marcus spoke almost as if he had read Spencer's mind. "There's only three things in this world that I truly care about: Our band, you and Beth, and especially Emily. But I'll never know how to show Emily that I really care about her." Marcus admitted, letting his tough side back down for the first time. "I see the way you look at Beth. I want to know how to look at Emily like that."

Spencer was surprised at Marcus's sensitive side. "Well, what if we taught each other what the other wants to know. You can help me become more confident, and how to stand up for myself. And I'll help you show Emily you care about her."

"You'd do that for me, man?" Marcus cracked a smile.

"Of course." Spencer smiled back. And then he saw Emily and Beth making their way back to the table. Beth's eyes were red and swollen. Emily had her arm around Beth in a supportive manner. Emily looked as though all the joy had been sucked from her soul. Spencer's smile faded. He didn't know what had happened in that bathroom, but from the look of it, it couldn't have been good.


	10. I'm friends with the monster

" _There's a monster inside my mind. He sits on his throne, watching over all my thoughts; all my feelings; all my life. He tells me what to do and say. He tells me how to act. If I try to fight back, he fights me harder. I no longer have control. The monster inside my mind controls everything now. And I don't know if this is me speaking or the monster, but I like it."_

Emily woke to the sound of Beth talking to herself in the middle of the night. She rolled over to see Beth sitting on the side of her bed with her back facing Emily.

"Beth?" Emily said groggily. "Are you alright?" She reached over and turned on the light.

Beth's head shot up. "What's going on? Where am I?" She looked around, confused.

Emily shoved the blankets off her and rushed over to Beth's side. "Beth, it's Emily. Look at me. Are you okay?"

Tears filled Beth's eyes as she collapsed into Emily's lap. "There's something inside my mind, Emily. There's something wrong with me." She sobbed.

Emily stroked Beth's blonde hair back. "Shh," She soothed. "You're alright. I'm right here. Everything is going to be alright."

Beth sat up slowly, wiping away the tears that stained her cheeks. "Will you..." She sniffled. "Will you sleep next to me for the rest of the night? I just... I need..."

Emily stopped her. "Of course, hun." She said, pulling the blankets back snuggling in next to Beth. She wrapped her arms around her best friend and held her all night long to try and protect her from the devil growing inside Beth's mind.

When morning rolled around, Emily woke up to find Beth's side of the bed empty. When she sat up, she saw Beth and some how moved to Emily's bed on the other side of the room. She was curled up in a ball under the blankets with a struggling look on her face.

"Beth?" Emily stood up slowly and walked over to her. "Beth?" She asked again, shaking her lightly.

Beth rubbed her hand across the whole right side of her face as she was pulled from her sleep. Sleep to Beth had become a sanctuary. It was the closest thing she had to dying.

"Do you want to go get us some more ice?" Emily asked. "Maybe taking a walk would be good for you. I think you've been in this room for much too long."

"I'll do it later." Beth mumbled into her pillow.

Emily sighed. "Fine... I'll do it."

She stood up and started walking towards the door when all of a sudden, Beth appeared out of nowhere, blocking the door so she couldn't leave.

"No!" She shouted. "I'll go! Let me go!"

Emily started to get scared by the way Beth was acting. She had never seen her friend get like this before. "Really, Beth. I can go."

"No!" Beth shouted again. "I'm going!"

Emily started to get her shoes on and Beth started screaming at her again. Emily tried prying Beth from the door so she could get out but Beth refused.

"Fine!" Emily yelled, which was unusual for Emily. "Fucking go if you want to go so badly!"

Beth fell took a few steps away from the door and fell to her knees, sobbing into her palms. Emily was starting to get annoyed. "You're acting like a three year old, Beth. What is going on with you?" Emily wondered. "I'm going to get ice. I'll be back in a few minutes." Emily opened the door and started down the hallway but Beth darted out and hit her arm on the door in the process.

"Ow! Shit! Oh God, ouch! Oh my, god!" She was screaming and crying, luring a few people out of their rooms and into the hallway.

Spencer burst out of his room when he heard Beth's scream-crying and rushed over to her. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" She screamed in his face. "Leave me alone! Just let me go! Please! Let me go!"

Everyone was frightened by Beth's behavior. No one had ever seen her act like this. No one knew what to do. She just stood there in the hallway screaming "let me go" and crying. She hunched over, running her fingers through her hair and tugging at the roots. She stamped her feet and started banging herself against the walls. She began hitting her temples with her palms, and hitting her fists against the door of her and Emily's room.

"Beth, stop!" Spencer panicked when she started to harm herself. He tried to grab her but she forced him off her. Marcus stepped in and wrapped his giant arms around Beth's tiny frame, trapping her so she couldn't move. She started to collapse in Marcus's arms and he knelt down with her failing body.

Her whole face had turned red from her violent screaming, and wisps of her hair had stuck to her face from all the sweat that had formed on her forehead.

The last thing Beth had seen before everything went black was Andy stepping out of his room with Heidi following behind him.

She let more tears fall onto Marcus's knuckles as she let out one more blood curdling scream to release everything she felt against Andy and Heidi. "Please," She whimpered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Just let me go."


	11. The devil came to take me to Hell but I'm already there

When Beth finally saw light again, she found herself in a hospital bed with the blankets tucked up under her chin. Spencer, Marcus, Emily and her dad all sat around her, with the anticipation of her finally waking up.

"Oh, Beth..." Her dad brushed aside some hair that had fallen onto her forehead. "Not again..." He sounded disappointed. Beth hated when she disappointed her father. She was all he had left in the world, and to disappoint him like that was the worst feeling in the world.

A smiling nurse pulled back the curtain as she entered, and then drew it closed behind her. "You're awake, I see." She beamed. "How are you feeling?"

Beth tried to sit up but felt her muscles fight against her, crying out to stop moving. "Ugh," She groaned. "Sore."

"You did a lot of thrashing around it sounds like." The nurse informed her.

"I remember what happened." Beth said with a slight snappiness to her voice. Her tone immediately changed to regret. "I just don't know why I did what I did..."

The nurse turned to her father. "You said that this has happened to her before?"

Beth's father nodded. "When she was a teenager; after her mother died."

Beth could feel a pang in her chest at her father's solemn words. She thought back to when she was fifteen. Her mother had died just 6 months before she started to go crazy. She remembered how she would cry herself to sleep every night; scream at her father and threaten to kill herself so she could be with her mom again. She would tell him that he wasn't enough and all she wanted was her mother back.

" _I want to die, Dad! I just want to go away! I don't want to be here anymore! I just want to be with Mom again!" Beth cried._

_Her father could feel his heart breaking in his chest with every word she screamed at him. "Stop saying that, Beth. You do want to be here. Think of all the great opportunities you will have in the future. Don't let that go." He tried to reason._

_"You're wrong!" She shouted back. "There's nothing good about this world. I want to die! I want to die now!" She screamed, tears flowing down her cheeks like a waterfall as she started to collapse from the inside out. "Please! Just let me go!"_

_"Let you go where?" Her father asked. "To the grave? Because I'm not letting you if that's what you're asking of me."_

_Beth started to break. "No... You don't understand..."_

_Her father was growing increasingly frustrated with his daughter's behavior. "What don't I understand, Beth? You're acting ridiculous."_

_Her shoulders shook as she let out a few more sobs. "There's something wrong with me, Dad. This isn't me."_

_He shook his head, trying to understand where this was going. He couldn't seem to figure out what she meant. "It is you, though. I don't understand." He stared at his broken daughter. "I'll call a therapist tomorrow and get you an appointment if that's what you want."_

_"NO!" Beth screamed and turned quickly, running to her room and slamming the door. She sat on the bed and thought about the razors she had hidden in her top dresser drawer that her friend had given her to hold on to so she wouldn't be able to cut anymore. She slowly walked over to the drawer and pulled it open. She dug through the clothes to find the small ceramic case that she had put the razors in. She took one out, looking at the way it glinted in the light from the lamp on the left side of the dresser. She sat down on the bed, taking in a deep breath, and cutting herself open for the first time in her life._

Beth looked at the faint, fading scars on her forearms from all those years ago as the memory faded to the back of her mind.

"Something must have triggered her." She heard the nurse saying to her father. "Stress maybe?"

"I don't think it's stress." Emily chimed in quietly. "But I do think I know what the problem is..." She looked to Marcus and Spencer.

Everyone was thinking the same thing, but it was Marcus who decided to speak up and say it out loud, making it real. "We're going to need to find a new bass player."


	12. Chapter 12

Spencer and Emily waited in the lobby of the hotel with Beth while Marcus went to go talk to Heidi. They all decided Marcus would probably be the most forceful and get the point through Heidi's thick skull.

He knocked on the door and Heidi revealed herself wearing very skimpy clothing as she usually did. Yet, this was even more provocative than Marcus had ever seen her.

"Oh," He looked to the side a bit. "Sorry if I'm interrupting anything."

Heidi rolled her eyes. Marcus was always so modest with women. She wanted to bring out his wild side. "No, I was just... lounging around." She said. "Come in." She took his hand and led him inside.

"Heidi, listen." He began when he was far enough into her room.

Heidi's eyes were filled with lust. She always did find Marcus to be very attractive. He had muscle, tattoos, and gorgeous blue eyes. Heidi liked domination sometimes, especially with a guy who looked like Marcus. She could play the damsel in distress, and he could play her knight in shining tattoos.

"I came here because--what are you doing?" He asked as Heidi began to attempt to take off Marcus's shirt.

"Come on, I know why you came here." She said seductively.

"You're fucking psychotic, you know that?" Marcus pushed Heidi away from him and she flopped back onto the bed behind her.

She started to giggle. "Feisty, are we?" She got right back up and went at it again.

"Heidi, stop." Marcus said forcefully. "You really fucked Beth up, you know that?"

"Oh..." Her shoulders slumped. "You came here to talk about the mental patient?"

Marcus could feel his anger begin to rise. "You're a real bitch, you know that?"

"Mhm." Heidi nodded. "Let me show you what a bitch I can be." She lunged at him and started kissing his face all over. She licked his massive neck tattoos, and nibbled on his ear. He tried to get her off him but she was strong. They fell backwards onto the bed and Heidi pulled Marcus's shirt right off his body. He struggled to wiggle out from under her with no luck. Eventually, he was able to grab hold of both her wrists to keep her from coming near him any more. "Oh, so that's how you want to play it?"

Marcus couldn't take it anymore. He flipped her onto her back and held her arms down while he straddled her hips. Heidi began to wince in pain as Marcus's grip on her wrists grew tighter as his anger grew increasingly.

Suddenly, the door opened. "Marcus?" It was Emily. She walked further into the room to see Marcus straddling Heidi and holding her down onto the bed. Emily's hand shot up to her quivering lips as tears began to slide down her cheeks. She turned quickly and ran out of the room, slamming the door shut.

"No, Emily, wait!" Marcus called after her.

Heidi just laid there smiling, clearly pleased with herself. "Oh, did I do that?" She pouted but then her pout grew into a wide smile.

"You fucking cunt." Marcus growled between gritted teeth. Without thinking, he did something that the whole band had wanted to do for a long time. He sent a forceful smack right across her face.

Heidi's lips went from smiling to an "O" of shock as her cheek began to sting from the blow.

Marcus stood up swiftly. "Oh, god. What did I just do?"

"You assaulted me!" Heidi sat up, cupping her swollen cheek.

"Fuck." Marcus cursed as he booked it out of the room. Right before the door closed, her heard Heidi shouting at him.

"I'm pressing charges, asshole!" She yelled.

Marcus mentally smacked _himself_  in the face for being such an idiot. Hitting a woman was totally against his morals. What was happening to him? First Beth, now him? Who was next? Emily? Because if it was, he never would forgive himself if anything happened to her because of him. And then he remembered.

"Emily." He breathed. He ran to the elevator and pushed the button furiously. As soon as the doors opened, he pushed past the elderly couple that was exiting and made sure he got to the lobby as quickly as possible. When the doors opened in the lobby, he could see Emily, Spencer and Beth making their way to the front door.

"Emily, wait!" Marcus called out. Emily glanced in his direction, grimaced, and kept walking. He ran after her. He wasn't about to let her go. "Emily!" He called again.

Spencer stopped and let Emily and Beth go ahead. "I'll catch up with you guys." He said, and waited for Marcus to catch up himself.

"Where are they going?" Marcus said between heavy breaths.

"What did you do to Emily?" She came downstairs crying. All she did was go to check on you and see if you were almost ready to go and then she comes downstairs crying. Did Heidi say something to her?" Spencer was trying to figure it out. Emily wouldn't talk about it.

Marcus shook his head. "She walked in and the whole thing was out of context. She saw me straddling Heidi on the bed thinking that we were about to get it on or something but really I had her pinned down to the bed because she just made me so infuriated." His fists clenched at just the thought of Heidi. "She was trying to have sex with me and I was trying to get away from her. Emily walked in on me holding her down out of anger, not sexually."

"Oh..." Spencer said. "So, I'm guessing you didn't tell her we're kicking her out of the band?"

"No, Spencer, I didn't really get around to it." Marcus said with a hint of sarcasm to his tone. "But I'm so fucked, dude."

"Why?" Spencer asked. "What else happened?"

Marcus took in a deep breath and exhaled. "I slapped her."

Spencer's eyes widened. "You did what?!" He exclaimed.

"I slapped her." Marcus admitted. "I don't know what came over me. But as I was running out of the room, she said she was going to press charges. You don't think she actually will, do you? Because I can be kicked off tour if I go to jail because of that fucking bitch."

Spencer shrugged. "I don't really know, Marcus. Heidi is unpredictable. Anything can happen with her." And Marcus knew Spencer was right. "But I think you just need to fix things with Emily first. Let's go take care of that and then we'll deal with Heidi later."

Marcus agreed, despite the fact that Heidi's threat was still lingering in the back of his mind. Not only did he put himself in jeopardy, but he had just his relationship with Emily, and the rest of his band on the line as well. 


	13. Crazy bitch

Marcus sat on the bed with his legs crossed underneath him and his heavy head resting in his hands. Heidi's threat was eating him away from the inside out. There was a strong knock on the door, and Marcus's head shot up at the sound just as Spencer was headed over to open it.

"Hello, are you Marcus Sintori?" A deep voice asked.

"Uh, n-no." Spencer replied. "Um, Marcus?" He called. "There's a rather frightening looking man standing out in the hall who would like to speak to you."

Marcus made his way down the hall towards the man in the dark blue uniform. "Is there a problem here, officer? Were we causing a ruckus or something?"

"Don't play smart with me, son." The officer replied coldly.

Marcus felt as though the officer's comment was rather uncalled for. After all, he was being serious. He and Spencer had been playing a round of Rock Band earlier and it got a little loud in their room.

"Marcus Sintori, please step out into the hallway and put your hands where I can see them." The officer ordered.

Marcus obeyed and stepped out into the hall just as Heidi appeared next to a younger looking officer. "That's him, sir. That's the man who attacked me." She pouted. Her eyes were filled with sin yet covered by a mask of innocence. She had the officers wrapped around her little finger. A beautiful tattooed woman in a short red silk robe was hard to ignore.

"Marcus Sintori, you're under arrest..." The officer droned on but Marcus tuned him out. All he could think about was that day when he struck Heidi. Her plan to divide the band and turn everyone against one another was working. And then he thought of Emily. What would she do without him there? Spencer, Beth and especially Emily would never be able to handle Heidi without Marcus. Marcus acted as the protector of the band. Without him, everyone would be lost.

"Marcus?!" Emily shouted and ran towards her now handcuffed boyfriend. "What's going on?!" She reached for his cheek and he let her touch sink into his skin before the police officer yanked him in the opposite direction.

"No, please!" Emily begged. "You can't take him away from me, please!" She fell to her knees.

The younger officer broke away from Heidi and approached Emily. He offered her help off the floor and lifted her chin so she could look in his eyes. "We'll take him in for questioning and hold him overnight. I promise that _you_  will be the first one I call when we release him." The officer turned away and started to follow the parade of people down the hallway.

As soon as everyone in the party had disappeared, Emily turned to Heidi with fire in her eyes. "You BITCH." She screamed. "How could you do this to me?! FUCK YOU. OKAY? FUCK YOU."

Spencer grabbed onto a violently flailing Emily to keep her calm. Beth stood and watched in shock. Heidi had managed to finally break Emily. She started to realize that the person they were dealing with, was more sadistic than they had thought.

"Hey guys, what's going..." CC walked in on a tense moment and he could feel it as soon as he stepped into the war zone. When CC arrived, Heidi vanished.

Emily broke out of Spencer's grasp and ran into CC's chest, grabbing onto his torso tightly, sobbing into his black t-shirt. "Just hold me..." She sobbed. "Please." Her voice quivered.

CC tentatively wrapped his arms around an hysterical Emily as Spencer and Beth watched her body shake with anger and grief.

"What... What are we supposed to do about our show tonight?" Spencer asked quietly.

Beth looked at him and then to CC, and then back to Spencer. Spencer immediately knew what Beth was thinking. They both looked to CC. He was to be their replacement drummer.


	14. Don't apologize, I hope you choke and die

"First you, and now Emily?" Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose as he processed all the shit Heidi had pulled over the past week of Warped. They hadn't been on the road for even 3 days and already she had gotten their drummer arrested and mentally broken down two of her other bandmates. "This fucking crazy bitch is going to end up killing all of us."

Beth shrugged, not sure what else to say. "Should we get Kevin on this?" She wondered quietly. Spencer sighed but Beth continued. "I mean, he's our only hope at this point. I just don't want all of us to get kicked off the tour because of her. But I'm not sure what else we can do. Emily is beginning to turn into me and I don't want her to have to suffer through what I've had to."

"I'm fine." Emily appeared in the doorway to the bunk part of their bus. Now that the tour was starting to travel across the country, the band had moved all of their things into a tour bus. Due to Marcus's arrest, the band was taking a few days off from tour to make sure they managed to get him back safe and sound.

"Besides," Emily continued. "Marcus is getting out today. I just got a call from the station. They said we could go pick him up in about an hour and be on our way."

Beth looked relieved as did Spencer but she became worried again when she saw the conflicted look still stuck on Emily's face. "Is everything okay?" She asked, afraid of what the answer would be.

"Please tell me that Kevin doesn't know about Marcus's arrest." Emily said, wringing her hands together nervously.

"Why--" Beth began but was cut off by the sound of the front door to their bus opening and slamming shut.

Heidi stomped her way in as she pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head. "Brian made me get on the bus..." She pouted, as she walked over to the sofa and plopped down to sulk some more over their bus driver kicking her off the streets.

Emily rolled her eyes and disappeared down the hallway. She'd had enough of Heidi and was doing all she could to avoid her at all costs.

"Everybody pop a squat or grab onto somethin' because we're movin'." Brian shouted back at the band as he started up the big bus.

The bus jolted forward and Beth stumbled a bit and bumped into Spencer who gladly caught her in his arms. She looked up at him and smiled weakly as his cheeks began to flush. Spencer was beginning to think that maybe Beth had finally gotten over Andy. She had realized that he was too good to be true, or that he was stupid enough to think that Heidi the bitch-ass bimbo actually had feelings for him. Spencer didn't think it was possible for Heidi to have any feelings at all.

"Briaaaan." Heidi whined. "Where are we goooinnngggg?"

Beth and Spencer both silently rolled their eyes as they sat down together on the opposite side of the bus as far away from Heidi as they could get.

"Why, to pick up ol' mighty man!" Brian replied with his thick country accent.

Beth loved when Brian talked because his accent was hysterical and it made Heidi annoyed which made Beth all the more pleased.

"You mean that fucking assault weapon is coming back on tour?!" Heidi was so furious, Beth could practically see the cartoon steam billowing out of her ears.

"Did... Did you just call him an assault weapon?" Spencer asked, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Fuck off, nerd." Heidi hissed back at him and flipping him the finger.

"Oh, are you showing us your new manicure? How thoughtful of you." Spencer said with his voice oozing with sarcasm.

Beth giggled by his side as he attempted to shoot Heidi down once and for all. But despite the attempts, it was clear she wasn't going to be broken that easily. A few minutes of silence passed over the three and suddenly the bus came to a sudden jerking halt.

"Emilaay!" Brian called out to her.

Emily wearily emerged from the darkened hallway and continued toward the door of the bus, keeping her eyes glued to the floor.

"What's her problem?" Heidi scoffed as soon as Emily had stepped off the bus to go free Marcus.

"Are you fucking serious?" Beth said, staring at Heidi with an incredulous look on her face. "You're such a dumb bitch."

Heidi played a fake pout on her lips. "Well, at least I'm not a mental case."

"Fuck you." A deep male voice cut through the tension in the air and hit Heidi square in the center of her face.

Beth and Spencer turned and saw Marcus standing there with Emily cowering behind him, holding tightly onto his muscular, tattooed arm.

"It's going to be a long fucking ride to Utah, but at least once we get there, we'll be able to take out this trash that's been stinking up our lives with all her goddamn fucking bullshit. Yeah, I'm talking about you," Marcus pointed his finger at Heidi. "You pretentious slut. You're nothing but shit. Next time you're sucking on one of them big ol' cocks, I hope you choke and die. Cunt. Yeah, I finally said what everyone's been dying to say. You're a fucking cunt and everyone knows it."

Marcus quietly led Emily past Beth and Spencer with their jaws on the floor. Heidi sat back in her seat with her arms crossed acting as if none of what Marcus had to say bothered her. But behind the deep red lipstick and her thick black liner wings, Heidi's tough exterior was beginning to crack.


	15. Save me from the nothing I've become

"Utah, thank you so much for the amazing turn out today!" Beth announced into the microphone as she waved at the surprisingly large crowd that had formed in front of them. "We're going to be heading over to our tent right now." She pointed to the blue tent with their band name printed across the top. "Meet our merch guy Tony, buy some of our shit, and we'll be signing and giving out hugs!"

The Marcus threw his drum sticks into the crowd for two lucky fans to snag. Spencer and Emily handed off their guitars to the tech and Heidi gave her bass to the stage hand.

"So we have our signing right now and don't forget about our interview with Bryan today." Spencer said as if he were their tour manager.

Beth laughed at Spencer's remarks but he was being completely serious. "Nice impression there, Spence."

"But Beth, I--" He began but stopped as she walked away from him to take her place at the end of the line under the tent.

Signings were Beth's favorite part of the day. She got to meet all their amazing fans who had been supporting them from the very beginning and even some of their new fans who didn't know about them until that day.

"Oh my god, Beth, hi." A nervous, yet excited looking girl who Beth guessed couldn't be older than 15 stepped in front of her with her left hand cupping something and her right hand clutching a piece of paper.

Beth smiled widely. "Is that for me?" She asked as the girl shoved the piece of paper in her hand forward towards Beth.

"Y-Yeah, I wrote this for you." She was shaking and Beth couldn't believe she had made such an impact on this girl's life. "And I wanted you to have these, too." The girl uncurled her fingers to reveal two shiny razors sitting in the palm of her hand. "I don't want to do this to myself anymore and you're the one who convinced me to stop, so I want you to take them from me."

Beth was in shock that this fifteen year old girl was handing her razors. She tried to hide her initial reaction and act as though this happened all the time, but the truth was, it was the first time. "Wow," Beth said, and looked at the girl. "I am so proud of you." She said and reached out to give the nervous, shaking girl a hug.

After sending the girl on her way to enjoy the rest of her day, Emily leaned over. "Did that girl just give you her razors?"

Beth nodded sympathetically. She didn't know what she was supposed to do with them. She assumed dispose of them but this girl's decision sparked something in Beth. She could barely keep herself sane yet she was able to keep her fans happy and healthy through her music. She began to think that maybe instead of her fans taking her advice, she needed to start taking the advice of her fans. It was true that music had always been a therapeutic way for Beth to release stress and keep herself from falling into the deep end like she had a week ago. Who cared what Heidi had to say or what she was doing with Andy? Beth realized she needed to stop worrying about what other people were doing and start worrying about herself.

"I'm going to stop worrying about Heidi and Andy." Beth decided and mentioned it in an aside to Emily.

And she was staying strong, that was, until Andy walked by. 


	16. "If you were a porn star..."

Andy had to walk quickly in order to avoid being mobbed by fans but he managed to sneak Beth a wink in from behind his black bangs. Beth could feel her knees buckle at the sight of Andy.

"Beth?" Emily nudged Beth's side with her elbow.

Beth broke out of her zoned out mode and noticed the fan standing in front of her with a drawing in one hand and a shy smile across his face. "I drew this for you." He said, offering her the paper.

She took it from him and gazed down at the drawing of her face staring back at her with a big smile. This was how her fans saw her. They didn't see her as broken the way she did. It was amazing to her to see how her fans saw her compared to the way she viewed herself. "This... This is amazing!" She exclaimed and offered the boy a hug.

"Th-Thanks." He stuttered out of nervousness. "I love you." He blurted out.

Beth smiled weakly. "I love you, too."

"BETH! OH MY GOD!" Someone screamed from the line of people waiting to meet the band.

Beth looked up and saw a guy about Marcus's height and build waving at her frantically with a grin wider than she thought his face could handle.

"BETH, I LOVE YOU!" He shouted. "HAVE MY CHILDREN!"

Beth's eyes widened at the comment and the line of fans laughed. Beth glanced over at Spencer who was trying to hide his disgust at the comment while hugging a fan and sending her on to Heidi.

Twenty or so minutes went by and finally the last fan had passed through the line and the band was free.

"Run before more people start showing up." Tony, their merch guy, commented.

Beth grabbed Emily's hand and began pulling her away to the bus. Emily grabbed Marcus's hand and Beth grabbed Spencer's hand on her way past him. The four of them walked hand in hand back to the bus together.

"That signing was... interesting." Spencer said.

"I'll say." Beth agreed.

"Looks like Beth has a fanboy." Marcus teased.

Beth rolled her eyes. "Shut up..."

Marcus held up one hand in defense. "Hey, you're lucky you have a fanboy. I want some crazy bitches crying and fangirling over me."

Emily shot him a look. "Is that so?"

Marcus leaned down to kiss Emily's forehead. "You're still always gonna be my girl."

Beth smiled weakly at the two of them. She wished she could have a relationship like theirs. She'd never met a guy who was so enthralled with her that he was willing to call her "his girl". She'd never met a guy who's sole purpose in a relationship was something other than getting some.

When they got back to the bus, Bryan was sitting on their couch waiting for them to start the interview.

"Bryan!" Beth exclaimed and gave him a hug.

"Hey guys!" Bryan smiled and motioned for them to sit. "You guys ready to start this? I'm excited it's my first interview with you guys. I've been getting _a lot_  of requests to interview you. Your fanbase has been blowing up since your Warped announcement."

Everyone nodded and smiled. Bryan gave his cameraman a small nod to let him know he was ready to start.

"Alright: 3, 2, 1; What's up you guys? It's Bryan Stars and I'm here with Maiden Voyage! How are you guys doing today?" Bryan began.

"Pretty good." Marcus spoke and everyone nodded.

"Pretty good? Well, that's good. So, you guys are a new band on tour this year. What has your experience been like so far?" Bryan asked.

"Amazing." Beth answered. "We've had the chance to meet so many amazing fans and have been given the opportunity to interact and make life long connections with people in other bands. Our closest friends on tour so far would probably be Black Veil Brides."

"Oh, BVB." Bryan said. "I love those guys." He laughed slightly. "Andy's a character."

Beth nodded. "That he is..." She trailed off.

"Speaking of Andy," Bryan continued. "Rumor has it that things are getting serious between you two? I know there have been pictures posted on tumblr of you two together and numerous amounts of fan fictions have popped up ever since."

"Uh... Um... No, Andy and I are just friends. He's a flirt, though, I'll give him that." Beth said, unsure of what to say, really. The truth was she and Andy _were_  just friends. Heidi was the one who was sucking him off every night.

"I see there's only four of you. Heidi's not here?" Bryan observed.

"Oh, yeah." Marcus answered. "She's busy, if you know what I mean." Marcus put his fist up near his mouth and used his tongue to push his cheek out.

Bryan laughed and Emily smacked his arm. "Marcus!"

"It's probably true." Marcus shrugged.

Bryan laughed as he put his microphone down to switch papers. He picked the mic back up and looked at his paper. "So, tour. You guys have only been out here for a month. Have you had any crazy fan experiences yet?"

"Well," Spencer said. "I would say what happened today." He motioned to Beth.

Beth smiled, remembering the strange fan moment. "Ha, yeah..." Beth said. "I had a fan today yell out to me that he loved me and wanted me to have his children."

Bryan laughed with the rest of the band. "I've heard crazier but that's pretty intense."

Everyone nodded and Bryan looked back to his papers. "Alright," He transitioned. "I have some fan questions here. Hayley on twitter asks 'What are your opinions on self harm and do you have advice on how to stop?'"

"That always seems to be the hot subject nowadays, huh?" Spencer mentioned.

"Well..." Beth began and took in a deep breath. "I've kept this pretty secret for a while but I had a fan experience today that made me change my mind. A girl today gave me her razors and that made me see that I give my fans strength. But I want them to now that not all of us are as strong as they make us out to be. And none of us are superheroes."

"Beth..." Emily tried to stop her.

"It's okay, Em." Beth assured. She turned back to the ever patiently waiting Bryan. "When I was a teenager, I used to cut, too. I know what it's like to feel as though you have no other way out. I know how it feels to feel nothing at all. And sometimes, I still get triggered. A couple of our shows were canceled on tour because I was in the hospital after having a mental break down. I think I speak for the rest of the band when I say cutting is not the way to solve your problems. My advice to those of you who do is to find other alternatives. I used to hit myself when I got overly frustrated. So, instead, I took up boxing to relieve my stress and frustration. My dad helped me out by hanging up a bag in our basement. Tell your parents. Tell someone. They can help you."

Bryan nodded and motioned for the camera to stop running. "Do you want to take a break?" He offered when he saw the tears forming in the inner corners of Beth's eyes.

Beth nodded quietly and stood up, walking towards the bus door. Emily stood and followed her outside. Beth leaned against the bus with her arms crossed over her chest. She glared up a the clouds in the bright blue sky, envying the fact that they could look so happy yet she still felt full of sadness, pain, and remorse.

"You didn't have to do that." Emily finally spoke.

Beth nodded. "I know... But I had to. That girl, and all of our other fans out there deserve to know that I'm not strong. They deserve to know that what they're doing to themselves is something I've struggled with for much of my life."

"But to announce it in a Bryan Stars interview?" Emily questioned. "Bryan's interviews are supposed to be fun and funny."

"I know." Beth nodded. "But I guarantee you when we go back in there he's going to ask us what our pornstar names would be." Beth laughed.

Emily nodded and smiled. "You're probably right."

Emily looked at Beth. She appeared happy on the outside with her bright, smiling face. She could trick anyone into thinking she was truly happy with everything in her life; everyone except Emily. Emily could see past Beth's fake smiles. Emily knew Beth better than anyone else; even Spencer. She could see that despite this sudden realization, Beth wasn't going to be happy until she found out what was really wrong with her. Music can't solve all your problems, and can't always save you from yourself.


	17. Our time has come

“Guys!” Spencer called from the couch. “Bryan just uploaded our interview!”  
  
Everyone, including Heidi, rushed out to join him.  
  
“Skip to the self harm part.” Beth ordered with a tint of uncertainty in her voice.  
  
“You sure?” Spencer asked.  
  
Beth breathed in deeply. “Yes, I want to see it.”  
  
Spencer scrolled the time forward until he found it:  
  
 _"I have some fan questions here. Hayley on twitter asks 'What are your opinions on self harm and do you have advice on how to stop?”  
  
"That always seems to be the hot subject nowadays, huh?”  
  
“A girl today gave me her razors and that made me see that I give my fans strength. But I want them to know that not all of us are as strong as they make us out to be. And none of us are superheroes."_  
  
“That’s… That’s it? That’s where he ended it?” Beth could feel tears begin to form.  
  
Spencer rested a gentle hand on her back. “Beth, I’m sorry… He shouldn’t have--”  
  
“It’s fine.” She snapped. Then her voice softened. “Bryan knows what he’s doing.”  
  
Heidi stood up and stretched her arms over her head, revealing a small section of her stomach. Her belly button ring glinted in the shy sunlight that peeked in through a slit in the shades of the window. “He saved your ass, that’s what he did.”  
  
“Your negativity isn’t needed right now, Heidi.” Marcus defended.  
  
She shrugged. “I’m just saying. If  _I_  were you, I wouldn’t want the whole world to know I’ve been hospitalized for a mental disorder. We could lose fans that way.  _You_  could lose fans from that.”  
  
Beth sat back against the warm leather of the couch cushion. She knew Heidi was right in a way. If people found out about her hospitalization, the band as a whole could suffer a major downfall.  
  
“Also, fuck you, Marcus for telling everyone I’m a slut.” She gave him the finger.  
  
“What? It’s true.” Marcus said with his voice full of laughter.  
  
“Asshole.” Heidi muttered under her breath as she headed toward the door to the bus.  
  
“And where is Princess slut-bunny off to?” Marcus called after her.  
  
“None of your fucking business.” She snapped back at him and slammed the bus door shut behind her.  
She strutted through the buses in her five inch heels and short enough to see your ass crack jean cut offs.  
  
“Ayee baby, lookin fine!” Some guy called at her from inside one of the buses she passed.  
  
She rolled her eyes and continued walking. “If I can just break Beth down one more time, I know I can take control of this band. Beth is the only one keeping them all together. Marcus may be the strongest one, but without Beth, they’re nothing.” She said to herself.  
  
Finally, she stood in front of the door to the bus she had been looking for. She knocked twice and waited a few moments. When the door open, she didn’t even give them a chance to speak. “I need your help with something. This is it. Our time has come.”


	18. I am the Devil's smile

"Whoa, slow down." Andy held his hands up in front of him to keep Heidi off. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Domination." She said with a sly grin.  
  
"Domination over what?" Andy asked as she pushed her way past him into the bus. He closed the door and followed her to the main part of the lounge.  
  
"Our bands, Warped tour, this entire music scene. We can have it all. We can be the power couple." She grinned, gripping both of his arms.  
  
He wriggled out of her grasp. "You sound crazy. I don't want any of that." He turned his back to her.  
  
Heidi reach out and grabbed his arm forcefully, pulling him back to face her. She grabbed the back of his neck with her other hand and pulled his face in so their noses were touching. "Baby..." She whispered with her red lips parted and her sweet breath lingering on his lips. She let her eyes dwell on his lip ring as she felt the hesitation and the attraction in his body. She guided his hand down her side and towards her hips. "You want me." She smiled sinfully.  
  
"Y-Yes." He quivered.  
  
"I want you..." She trailed. "...to do something for me."  
  
Andy could feel his hard on tightening his already slim jeans as she guided his hands around to her ass.  
  
"Make Beth think you like her." She continued. "And when I say the time is right, we're going to break her so bad, she'll never make it out of the hospital this time." She went to bite his lip but he pulled away from her.  
  
"What?!" He said with disbelief. "I- No! I can't do that to Beth. She's already been through enough, don't you think?"  
  
Heidi pouted her full, lipstick lined lips at him. "Fine." She said. "I don't need you anymore, then. There's plenty of guys on this tour who want a piece of this ass anyway."  
  
"Wait." He said. His brain was swimming in a pool of lust. "All I have to do is pretend I like her, right? And then that's it?"  
  
"Hmm." She half smiled. "That's it. I'll handle the rest of it."  
  
Andy wiped his sweating palms on his ripped, black skinny jeans. "Alright. I'll do it."  
  
Heidi swayed her hips as she sauntered towards him. She wrapped her snake-like arms around his neck and pulled him in close to her. She glanced behind him and saw a pair of eyes peeking out from the darkness, watching them. She blew a kiss to the silent, observing figure, and left Andy wanting more from her.  
  
When the door to the bus slammed shut, the hiding figure stepped out from the shadows. "Andy?"  
  
Andy turned to see Ashley cautiously approaching him. "Uh, hey... You heard all of that, didn't you..."  
  
Ashley nodded solemnly. "You can't possibly be going through with what she's asking you to do."  
  
Andy shrugged. "Beth's a sweet girl. I don't know what to do. Heidi has so much shit on me and who knows what she could do if I don't do what she says."  
  
"Andy, you can't trust her. And you can't do that to Beth. Beth is in love with you. If you made her believe you liked her back and then all of a sudden took it back, she'd die of a broken heart if she doesn't kill herself first. And you know she would do that, too."  
  
"I know..." Andy considered.  
  
Ashley gulped. "And, there's something else Heidi isn't telling you."  
  
Andy looked at him with confusion written across his face. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"She can have any guy she wants? Yeah, she's right about that." Ashley said. "You're not the only guy in her life, man. She's been fucking around with me, too, and God knows how many other guys."  
  
Andy's upper lip curled into a snarl as Ashley came clean about sleeping with Heidi. "She's been sucking me off ever since we started tour but I was never of a relationship guy. I was only good for the sex. She wanted you to fulfill her relationship fantasies."  
  
"I should have fucking known." Andy balled his fists up.  
  
"But trust me, man, this has nothing to do with me, or you. Her whole messed up plan involves Beth and only Beth. There's something between the two of them that neither of us know and I can bet that none of the rest of Maiden Voyage knows it either."  
  
Andy released his fists and let his shoulders drop. "Kay." He stated.  
  
Ashley sighed. "Dude, I know you're upset." He reached for Andy's lifeless shoulders.  
  
Andy shook his head. "It's not that. I actually liked Beth, you know. I was too fucking stupid and too fucking blind to see that Heidi was just the Devil's smile all along."  
  
"Then..." Ashley hesitated.  
  
Andy continued. "We have to find out what happened between them and stop this whole thing before someone ends up dead."


	19. I won't be the one who stays the same

_"Mom, look at these!" Heidi held up a pair of acid wash, destroyed skinny jeans for her mom to see._

_Shopping with her mom wasn't always the most enjoyable but she needed new clothes and her mother had the best judgement when it came to sizes, no matter how harsh she was about it._

_"Those are cute!" Her mother exclaimed. "But are you sure you'll look good in them? They're skinny at the ankle which will only make your legs look bigger than they already are; and the torn up style won't look good with your thighs. You're better off with these." She held up a pair of plain, dark wash boot cut jeans. "See how they flare out at the bottom? It'll help make your legs not look as big."_

_"I hate boot cut..." Heidi mumbled under her breath as she crossed her arms over her chest and sulked. "Will you at least let me try them on?"_

_Her mother sighed. "Alright." She agreed. "I suppose. But it doesn't mean I'm going to let you get them."_

_Heidi rolled her eyes and searched through the stack of jeans to find what size she thought she might be. She pulled a size 10 and a size 12 from the stack, hoping one of the two would fit her. She carried them over to her mother who was rifling through a t-stand of more plain boot cut jeans._

_"All set?" Her mother looked up at her and then glanced down at the jeans draped over her daughter's arm. "Oh, honey, you'll never get that size 12 over your hips." Her mother furrowed her eyebrows with concern. "Do they have a size 14 or 16 over there?"_

_Heidi grimaced. "I'll go check." She managed to choke out. She sifted through the stack again and found a size 14 hiding behind the front stack. She put the 10 back and hid the 12 under the 14 so her mother wouldn't see. She wanted to prove to her mother and herself that she could fit in a 12. She didn't need a 14._

_"Do you want to pick out a couple tops to go with your jeans?" Her mother offered. "We want you to look great for your first day of high school!" She gushed._

_Heidi was beginning to think her mom was more excited about her starting high school than she was. "Sure..." She trailed off as she walked up to a round rack of tops. She sorted through them, trying to find something she liked. She found a cute black button up with lace shoulders. It was a medium and she knew her mother would insist on her getting a size large, but she grabbed the medium anyway and found a different top in the larges to cover it up so her mother wouldn't say anything._

_"Oh, that's cute." Her mother said as she approached Heidi. "And it's your size! Are you ready to try this stuff on?"_

_Heidi simply nodded and followed her mother to the fitting rooms. Her mother handed off the jeans she picked out and let Heidi make her way into one of the rooms. "Show me everything you try on!" She called to her daughter. "I want to make sure everything fits alright."_

_Heidi nodded to her before closing the door behind her. She started with the skinny jeans she picked out. Her mother was wrong about getting the 12 over her hips, but they were extremely tight on her. She knew if she showed her mother, she would get some sort of comment about how fat she looked in them. She quickly slid them off and tried the 14 on and put on the large shirt she picked out. She did a quick show to her mother who approved and went back in to try on the rest of the clothes she had left. Before sliding off the skinny jeans and changing into her mother's choice of jeans, she let her hands glide down over her hips. She pushed in, trying to slim them down even though she knew it wouldn't stay. She lifted up the shirt and let her hand follow the bulge of her stomach that rolled over the top of the jeans. She lifted her chest and sucked in, trying to get the bulge of fat to disappear. When she released her breath, the fat dropped back down to it's spot spilling over the waistband of her jeans. She dropped her shirt and turned away from the mirror. She couldn't look at herself in the mirror anymore. All she could see was fat._  

Heidi wiped away a stray tear as she remembered the day her mother and her went shopping for school clothes. She was only 14 years old and was starting high school in a couple days. Her mother had always told her she needed bigger sizes when they went shopping, and despite her desire for her mother to be wrong, she was always right.

Marcus, Beth, Spencer and Emily all knew Heidi used to be overweight but only Beth knew how Heidi's mother used to treat her when it came to her body. Heidi feared that if Beth found out about her plan with Andy, she would tell him about her past with weight. Heidi didn't want anyone to know about it. She was beautiful and skinny now. That's how she wanted people to know her.


	20. Asshole

Beth, Andy, Spencer, Marcus and Emily all sat around the booth table that jutted out from the side of the living room. Andy dealt the cards, occasionally glancing up at Beth every so often with a gleam in his eye.

"Ever played this before?" He questioned as he dealt out the last few cards.

Beth shook her head no and looked around at everyone else at the table. Emily and Spencer both said no, and Marcus just stretched his arms over his head and claimed to be a pro.

Andy chuckled slightly to himself. "Yeah, Marcus? We'll see about that."

"Don't even deny that I'll be getting President every round, Biersack." Marcus boasted.

Andy shook his head slightly and picked up his cards. "Alright, so here's how you play. In order to win the round and become President, you have to get rid of all the cards in your hand. The person who is left with cards after everyone has cleared is labeled the asshole. So, in order, the positions go President, Vice President, Secretary, and Asshole. Before the start of each game, excluding the very first round, the asshole has to give the president his or her two best cards and in return, the president will give the asshole two of his or her worst cards. The VP gives the Secretary one bad card and the Secretary gives the VP one good card. Good cards include clear cards, or Kings, Queens and Jacks. Bad cards are threes, fours, or aces. Do you get it so far?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. Beth wrung her hands under the table. She was the competitive type and was determined to win at all costs. She wanted to be President even though she didn't really know what being President meant.

"Clear cards are all the twos and the red threes. If you can't play and you have a clear card, put that down and it clears the pile. Whoever puts the clear card down gets to start the new pile with any card you want. The game originally starts out with the ace of spades. From there, you have to put down a card larger or equal to the ace. You'll get the hang of it once you start playing." Andy explained.

"What does being the President mean?" Beth asked.

"Oh, right. If you win President, you get to make up a rule. Usually it's only after you win three times in a row, but I want to make this interesting. The most popular one is called little man. You have to pretend there is a little man sitting on the rim of your cup and you have to take him off before you drink and put him back on after you drink." Andy said as he organized his cards. "Let's also say President gets to change the music." Andy reached over to his laptop sitting on the counter behind him and began playing the Wretched and Divine album. "Anything the president wants is what we listen to."

"So I'm assuming you're starting off as president, then?" Marcus folded his arms across his chest.

Andy gave him a sly smile. "You're so smart, big guy."

"Um, Andy?" Spencer spoke up. "If there's only four positions and five of us, doesn't that mean one person has to sit out?"

"Shit..." Andy mumbled. "I didn't think of that..."

"I didn't really want to play, anyway..." Spencer admitted. "I'll watch, it's okay."

Andy grimaced as he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He felt bad for Spencer. Despite what Spencer had said about not wanting to play, Andy could tell he wanted to.

He shook it off and focused back on the game. "Who has the ace of spades?"

After a couple moments of silence, Emily piped up. "Oooh! Me!" She slapped it down and the game began.

Four or Five rounds later, everyone was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol in their red solo cups.

"I feel like I'm in college again." Beth stated.

Andy looked at her with a confused, furrowed brow. "You went to college?"

Beth nodded. "Berkeley. I dropped out in the Fall semester of my sophomore year to pursue Maiden Voyage."

Andy was impressed Beth had gone to college. He had never been to college and always kind of regretted it in the back of his mind.

"Suck on that!" Beth's voice drew him back to the game and he saw her slap down her last card.

"Fuck! No!" Marcus yelled and put down his last card after her.

"I am the president!" She sang in a mocking tune and reached over Andy to change the album to letlive.'s "Speak Like You Talk".

"Ooh, good choice." Marcus praised.

Andy sighed. "Alright Miss President. What's the verdict?"

Before she could pick a rule, Spencer stood up and began to walk away. "I'm going to bed, guys. If anyone needs a walk to somewhere or whatever, let me know."

For the first time in her life, Beth was completely unattached from Spencer. It was most likely the amount of vodka she had coursing through her body that affected her brain chemistry but she didn't care how Spencer felt, and that scared her deep down.

"Alright. Every time you play a Queen, you pick someone to drink. Anyone at the table." Beth declared.

"Hm, alright. I like that one." Andy said.

After a couple more hours, everyone was drunk out of their minds. Marcus and Emily went to bed and left Beth and Andy out in the living room by themselves.

"You're beautiful, Beth, you know that?" Andy slurred slightly.

Beth blushed. "Andy, stop." She hit his arm lightly and let her head roll back. Her limbs were numb and tingling. She had almost no control over her head and let it roll back and forth as it pleased. Her vision was slightly blurred and when she stood, her legs could barely hold her up. "Can we go back to your bus? I don't want to make Spencer feel bad." She whispered.

Andy leaned his face in closer to hers and smiled. "Why do you say that? What would we do that would make him feel bad?"

Beth smiled and turned her face away from Andy's. "You know..." She mumbled, and began to giggle.

Andy reached for her face and turned it to face him. They gazed at each other for a few moments before Andy leaned in and kissed her gently. He nodded, "Alright. Let's go."

The two stumbled over each other on the way back to the BVB bus. They had their arms around each other as the attempted to keep the other one upright.

"Shh, shh." Andy said as they approached the door to the BVB bus. "Everyone's probably asleep." He opened the door cautiously and stepped inside with Beth trailing behind him. "Oh." He let his body relax. "No one's even here."

He turned to face Beth and let his long arms wrap around her waist, pulling her close to him. She lost her footing as he suddenly yanked her body into his and she stumbled and fell into his chest. He helped her stand upright and looked down into her blue eyes. He brushed a loose piece of hair out of her face as he whispered, "God, you're beautiful."

Beth could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath but she didn't care. She knew her breath probably smelled equally as strong. Her mind was in a drunken daze and she couldn't focus on anything that was happening. The next thing she knew, Andy's lips were pressed against hers and his hands were furiously running up and down her back.

She let herself sink into the pleasure of Andy's touch, never even knowing that this bad decision was just the first of many to come.


	21. Le soleil et la lune

"Here," Andy handed her a bottle of water. "Drink this or you're going to hate yourself in the morning. Trust me."

Beth sat up and took the water from him. She chugged half of it and then plopped back down on the bed, closing her eyes.

Andy looked at her. He watched the way her body moved as she breathed quietly. His eyes traveled down towards her waist where the skin of her back and hips were revealed slightly. He took his finger and traced the stretch marks on her lower back and hip. "I like these." He said.

She opened her eyes and twisted her upper body to looked at him. "What? You like what?" She wondered.

"Your stretch marks." He smiled. "They're cute."

Beth furrowed her eyebrows and pouted. "No they're not." She thrust her shirt down so he couldn't see her skin anymore. "They're ugly..." She whimpered. "I'm ugly..." A few tears escaped and trickled down her cheek.

"No!" Andy said urgently. "You're not! You're beautiful."

Beth shook her head against the pillow and continued to be drunk and pout. Andy reached over her and pulled her towards him. He kissed the back of her head gently and let her body sink into his. She smiled slightly at the warmth and comfort of his hand on hers and his arm resting on her waist.

"We should sleep." Andy suggested.

Beth shrugged. "Sure... I suppose."

"Aren't you tired?" Andy asked, confused by the tone of her voice.  
  
Beth pursed her lips. "Yes, but if I close my eyes, that means I have to be away from you until I open them again."

Andy shook his head and chuckled slightly. "Adorable." He commented. "Here." He took his Batman t-shirt off and gave it to her. "You can sleep in this if you'd like."

Beth smiled and took the shirt from him. She lifted her own shirt and pulled it off. Andy watched as she undressed. His eyes followed the curve of her hip and the narrowing at her waist; then to her breasts that perked up in her black lace bra; then to her collar bones that stuck out just the right amount; to her neck; to her chin; to the roundness of her cheeks; her button nose and finally his eyes met hers.

She giggled playfully and turned her back to him. On the middle of her back, right between her shoulder blades, was a small image of a kissing sun and moon.

"You have a tattoo?" He asked, as she pulled the t-shirt over her head and covered the image. "I had no idea."

"I put it in that spot for a reason." She said, turning back around to face him. "I didn't want anyone to really see it."

Andy furrowed his eyebrows as he glanced down at his own sleeved arms. "Why not? It's beautiful."

Beth shrugged. "It's personal I guess. It's sort of a metaphor for all the problems I've had to deal with. My bright days and my dark days. The sun and the moon. Their kiss represents my ability to allow them to live in harmony without anymore conflict. They love each other. The sun helps the moon be bright as day even during her darkest nights."


	22. I'm sorry I can't be perfect

_When Heidi returned home after her first year of college, everyone was shocked at the dramatic changes she had gone through while she was away from home._  
 __  
 _"Wow, you look incredible!"_  
 __  
 _"You lost weight! You look so good now!"_  
 __  
 _"You're absolutely stunning. It's amazing what a change in weight can do for you."_  
 __  
 _Everyone was commenting on how beautiful she was now that she had finally grown out of her baby fat and blossomed into a tall, thin, sultry woman. Boys finally flocked to her and she was getting more attention than she could ever imagine. Yet at the same time, she still wasn't happy. She thought that by becoming much more physically attractive that she would be happy. Deep down, she still felt like the same sixteen year old fat girl she used to be: lonely and unhappy. She wasn't sure what she was missing._  
  
Heidi found Andy walking through some buses on her way to find the rest of her band. "Andy!" She called to him.   
  
A pang of guilt hit his chest at the sound of her voice speaking his name. He turned around and forced a smile. "Hey! Are you headed to the stage?" He asked, hoping she wouldn't bring up the Beth issue.   
  
"Yeah," She flipped her silk black hair over her shoulder. "But I was wondering if you did it yet." She was quick to bring it up.   
  
"Do what?" Andy asked, hoping she would be talking about something completely different, even though he knew she wasn't.   
  
"You know!" She hit his arm playfully. "The Beth thing I asked you to do?"   
  
"Oh," Andy said. "Right. That. Well, you see..."   
  
Heidi pouted her big, red lips. "You didn't, did you...?"   
  
Andy shrugged and gritted his teeth. "Not exactly..."   
  
"How are we supposed to be together? You have to get Beth off you and the only way to do it is to break her heart for good. She'll never want anything to do with you after that." Heidi explained.   
  
Andy furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you sure it's a good idea to play with her like that? She's been through a tough past. Who knows what something like this could drive her to."   
  
Heidi rolled her eyes but could feel her temper boiling under her skin. "Beth's not the only one with a tough past." She snapped. "Anyway..." She recovered. "She'll be fine. She has Spencer and Emily to take care of her. I'm sure they wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. You're acting as if this is much bigger than it needs to be."   
  
Andy went to say something but was brushed against the shoulder. He looked over to see Ashley walking past and waving him over away from Heidi. "I have to go." Andy said. "We'll talk about this later. Have a good show."   
  
Andy jogged lightly over to Ashley and began walking away from Heidi. Once they were a far enough distance, Ashley spoke. "You gotta shake her off, man."   
  
Andy sighed and let the weight of the world roll off his shoulders. "The more time I spend with Beth, the more I start to like her. She's so easy to talk to and she has a great personality. She knows how to be herself around me and I really like that. I feel like Heidi, although really hot, just puts on an act for me every time she's around me. I feel like I don't know the real her."   
  
"Then just tell her that. She needs to hear from you that you can't be involved with her in any way. And what she's trying to do to Beth is disturbingly messed up. I can't even imagine what must have happened between the two of them to make her hate Beth so much that she would try to drive her to suicide."   
  
 _Have you been asked to prom yet?" Heidi asked as her and Beth sat in her room reading magazines and munching on left over Chinese food from the night before._  
 __  
 _Beth shrugged. "I mean, a couple guys have shown interest but I don't know. I just don't think I'm gonna go."_  
 __  
 _Heidi took a deep breath. "No one's even bothered to ask me."_  
 __  
 _Beth looked at Heidi and touched her arm lightly. "Hey. Look at me." Heidi looked up at Beth's sympathetic eyes. "I know it's not easy to feel this way."_  
 __  
 _Heidi shook Beth off her. "What would you know? You don't know what it's like to be the fat girl. You don't know what it's like to be ignored. All the guys like you because you're skinny and beautiful."_  
 __  
 _"Heidi, you're not fat." Beth consoled. "If that's what your mother has been telling you, she's wrong. You're beautiful. And I'm only this skinny because I'm a recovering anorexic."_  
 __  
 _Heidi looked up at Beth with shock and tears in her eyes. "What?" She trembled slightly._  
 __  
 _Beth nodded solemnly. "Please don't be like me. And don't even think for a second that my life is perfect."_  



	23. Andy

_You're life isn't perfect?" Heidi shot up from the bed and ran to the other side of the room away from Beth. "'Oh, my name's Beth,'" Heidi imitated. "'I live in my luxurious castle home in the richest neighborhood in town with my former rock star father!' Just because you don't have your mom makes you think your life isn't perfect?"_

_"You have both your parents. And you live in a nice house in a nice part of town. What makes you think you have it worse off than me? Because you have a retarded brother, that makes you automatically worse off?" After Beth realized what she had said about Heidi's brother, she became very quiet and slowly stood up from the bed. "I'm... I'm sor-"_

_"Just leave." Heidi ordered._

Heidi touched up her red lipstick in the mirror before sliding on her daisy duke shorts over her lacy underwear. There was only a few more weeks of tour left and she knew she had to break Beth and steal Andy from her before tour was over and Andy went back to LA.

She sauntered off the bus past Emily and Marcus who were cuddling and watching a movie in the lounge.

"Where are you off to?" Marcus asked. "We have a set to play in a half hour."

"I'll make it to the set, don't worry." She said without pausing her stride.

Her heels clicked on the sidewalk as she strutted through buses to find Black Veil Brides's bus. If Andy wasn't coming to her, she had to go to him. Band members stares and gawked at her as she walked by but she ignored them. She was focused on one person only: Andy.

Andy was just leaving the bus when she bumped into him. "There you are!" She grinned. "I was just coming to talk to you about the whole Beth thing and the whole us thing." She snaked her arm around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. She could feel his body stiffen at her touch and she backed away, confused. "What's wrong?"

"Look," Andy picked her hand off his shoulder and let it drop to her side. "We're not anything. We can't be. I'm sorry."

Heidi played it off as nothing but she could feel her heart cracking inside. "What do you mean, we're nothing? Does this have to do with Beth?"

"Honestly? Yes." Andy admitted. "I like her. I can't break her heart like you want me to. It's not right."

"But she deserves it." Heidi's fists began to ball up by her sides.

Andy shook his head. "What has she ever done to you? Beth is a sweet girl and she's been through a lot. Besides, I've gotten to really know her over the past couple months and I just feel like I don't know you at all."

Heidi was confused. "I don't understand... I'm beautiful, I'm thin, I'm tall, isn't that what you want in a girl? I'm perfect now, right?"

"You're hot, don't get me wrong." Andy agreed. "But you've never shown me the real you. I feel like all I get with you is physical attractiveness and that's all that you seem to care about. Don't you want to know what I like and don't like? What my favorite hobbies are? What my childhood was like? What made me who I am today? I know all that stuff about Beth, and she's not afraid to just be herself with me. You're nothing like that."

But all Heidi heard was  _you're nothing._

_"I'm sorry but you mean nothing to me." Heidi's crush at the time admitted to her in the middle of a crowded high school hallway. "I like Beth. She's funny, down to earth, easy to talk to and just someone I can get along really well with. You don't know anything about relationships and besides, you're just not..."_

_"You're not hot like Beth is." His friend cut in. They laughed together and walked away, leaving Heidi in the hallway alone as the final bell for class rang. She was going to be late for class but it didn't matter in that moment. Nothing really mattered in that moment. Beth always acted like the victim. Beth always got the knight in shining armor. Beth always got everything Heidi had ever wanted: parents who understood her, a beautiful home, and good looks. Beth had a lot of friends. Heidi had Beth. No one wanted to be friends with the chubby, emo girl with an autistic brother. Beth was her best and only friend. But Beth was also driving her to insanity_.


	24. Emily

_Promise me you won't find a new best friend while you're away at school, okay?" Beth laughed and held her best friend's hand._

_Heidi laughed along with her. "I told you, I promise. I don't think it's possible to find someone as great of a friend as you."_

_Beth grimaced as she tried to hold tears back. It was the first time in her life that she was going to be away from her friends, her dad and her home town for longer than a week's vacation. College was starting and Heidi and Beth were going to go their separate ways, whether they were ready or not._

_Heidi looked at her best friend for a long while one last time before pulling her into a long embrace. "I'm going to miss you." She mumbled into Beth's shoulder while tears began to stain Beth's t-shirt._

_Beth sniffled and wiped a tear from her left eye. "Don't cry, you're making me cry." She laughed through her tears and pulled away to look at Heidi one last time before she left. "Promise you'll text me as soon as you're settled into your dorm!" She called after her friend who was getting into her car._

_Heidi waved one last time before backing out of Beth's driveway, and driving away from her house forever._

"Em, you're never going to believe what happened with Andy and me the other night." Beth gushed as she pulled Emily down onto the couch with her.

"You guys were really drunk, weren't you?" Emily wondered. "I remember going to bed with Marcus and passing out as soon as my head hit the pillow but I had a feeling you and Andy were up pretty late."

Beth blushed and smiled as she reminisced that night's events. She sighed audibly. "I think Andy might actually like me!" She squealed but Emily didn't react as she thought she would.

She furrowed her eyebrows and sat back against the couch with her arms folded over her chest. "Are you sure this isn't just another one of Heidi's games? And besides, what about Spence? You know he's been head over heels in love with you ever since the beginning of time."

Beth felt conflicted. She knew that Andy's sudden interest in her could be related to Heidi's malicious games she liked to play. And she knew that dating Andy would crush Spencer to the point that Beth was unsure if he'd even want to be friends with her anymore. But she just couldn't imagine being anything more with Spencer than they already were.

Beth shrugged. "I don't know if Spence and I could ever be more than just friends." She admitted. "I mean, we've been friends for such a long time that I feel like I don't know how to see him any other way."

Emily nodded in acknowledgement. "I understand that. But what about the whole thing with Andy?"

Beth pursed her lips. "I don't know, Em. He seemed pretty genuine that night. He refused to do anything with me because we were too drunk and he felt as though he would be taking advantage of me if we did anything. And then he saw my tattoo and asked me about it's meaning. You and Spencer are the only two people who know what it means. Not even Marcus or my dad know about it. Now that I think of it, I don't think either of them know I have it at all." She giggled and Emily smiled with her.

On that note, Heidi walked onto the bus and saw Emily and Beth huddled on the couch giggling about something and Heidi's paranoia sky rocketed. Her eyes grew wide and she dashed to the bunk hallway and slammed the door shut behind her.

Emily and Beth looked at each other. "What was that all about?" Emily wondered aloud.

Beth inhaled deeply and exhaled audibly. "Let me see if I can find out what's wrong." Beth stood up and walked over to the door to the bunk hallway. She knocked twice. "Heidi? Can I come in?"

The doorknob turned and the door creaked open slowly. Beth pushed her way through the mall opening and shut the door behind her. "Heidi? What's going on?"

Heidi flipped the light on from her bunk and opened the curtain. She sat there looking at Beth for a moment before she spoke. "Why do you all of a sudden care?" She said in a harsh tone.

Beth began to catch on to what Heidi was hinting at. "Would you just let Emily be? She never did anything to anyone. She's the sweetest girl I've ever met and you need to just back off."

"Why should I?" Heidi stood abruptly. "She's the reason this is happening. Don't you see?"

Beth shook her head slightly. "What the fuck are you saying?"

Heidi shrugged her shoulders dramatically. "She doesn't belong in this band."

"And you do?" Beth said incredulously "I wanted you to be in this band because it was something we had talked about ever since we were little girls, don't you remember?"

"Yes, Beth, I do remember. _She_  was never part of our plans." Heidi pointed at the closed door indicating the curious and slightly frightened Emily who sat just outside in the lounge.

Beth crossed her arms over her chest. "I invited you into this band because you're my friend--"

"I was your _best friend_ ," Heidi interrupted. "You and Spencer decided we needed another guitarist. I thought we were doing perfectly fine with the four of us. But did you guys ever think to ask me what I thought?"

"We," She motioned between the two of them. " Would not be here on Warped if it wasn't for Emily."

Heidi took a threatening step towards Beth. "So you're defending her now?"

Beth backed up against the bunks. "Heidi, she's my friend!"

"No," Heidi corrected. "She's your  _best friend_."


	25. Spencer

Beth pushed past Heidi and went back out to the lounge where Emily was sitting. When Emily heard the door swing open, she looked up and saw Beth storming out over the threshold.

"Let's go get a smoothie or something, Em. I can't stand to be in this bus for a second longer than I need to be." Beth said as she briskly walked by Emily and Emily stood and followed her off the bus.

Heidi watched as the two swiftly exited the bus and slammed the door behind them. Heidi shook her head slightly and slowly made her way over to the long, leather couch. She plopped down and let her body sink into the cushions. The leather felt warm against her skin from the sun beaming in through the window on the other side. She spread her hands out at her sides, letting the feeling of the leather glide over her palms and fingertips.

The sound of the bus door opening broke her out of her mild trance. "Oh, hey." Spencer said, pushing his glasses up further on his nose. "I didn't expect you to be here." He put his tour water down on the counter and walked over towards Heidi.

"Yeah..." Was all she could really think to say. Her mind was clouded from her recent encounter with Beth.

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows at Heidi's response. "Whoa, no sassy remark?" He sat down next to her. "Is everything okay?"

"Why do you care?" Heidi snapped at him.

Spencer looked taken aback. "Sorry," He scooted away from her. "I was just trying to help. Just because you can be a total bitch sometimes doesn't mean I can't try to be nice to you if you're feeling upset or something. This band is my family. We're all a family."

Heidi leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. "I'm sorry." She admitted, staring ahead at the floor in front of her.

Spencer moved back over towards her. "It's okay." He reassured. "So... What's wrong?"

"Emily is what's wrong." Heidi spat.

"What's wrong with Emily? She hasn't done anything to you." Spencer replied.

"Her being a part of this band is the problem. We were doing fine just the four of us and then she had to come along and just ruin everything." Heidi could feel her anger rising.

"Does this have anything to do with you and Beth?" Spencer inquired.

"I don't want to talk about Beth." Heidi said, looking over at Spencer.

She studied his face. She noticed how his glasses sat half way down his nose. She watched his eyes blink and his eyebrows begin to form into a sympathetic look. She watched his chest rise and fall lightly with each breath he took. She noticed his facial hair was beginning to grow in fuller. He looked like he hadn't shaved it or kept up with it for almost all of tour.

Instinctively, she grabbed either side of his face and pulled his lips towards hers.

_"You guys want to come over my house tonight and work on some song writing?" Spencer offered during passing time at Spencer's locker._

_Heidi gazed at Spencer's radiant face. She was head over heels for him but she could never tell Beth. It was obvious to everyone that Spencer had a huge crush on Beth. Even Beth knew it. Heidi wished Spencer would just give up on Beth and realize that she had been crushing on him ever since they had become friends._

_"Yeah, that'd be cool." Beth injected. "We should probably get at least an EP under our belts before the end of the summer. Once we go off to college, who knows when we're going to start the band."_

_Heidi nodded, clutching her books against her chest._

_"Cool," Spencer said. "So, I'll see you guys after class then?"_

_Beth and Heidi both agreed. Beth started on her way to class and Spencer and Heidi were left alone._

_"I'll see you at lunch, m'kay?" Spencer asked._

_"Yeah..." Heidi confirmed._

_Spencer nodded and smiled. He slammed his locker shut and slipped passed Heidi._

_"Spencer, wait." Heidi turned around and called out to him._

_He turned at the sound of his name. "What's up?" He wondered._

_Heidi panicked. "Never mind. I'll see you at lunch."_

_She mentally kicked herself for panicking. She knew she would never have a chance if she didn't just tell him._

_****_

_The cafeteria was noisy as it usually was. Heidi found a seat close to the door so Spencer would see her. Thursdays were the only days both of them had lunch at the same time without Beth. She had second lunch at around 11:15. Heidi and Spencer had third closer to noon time._

_Heidi opened her lunch box to see the same old turkey and cheese sandwich, bottle of water and bag of chips that her mom packed her every morning._

_"Hey stranger." Spencer sat down with his lunch tray._

_Heidi glanced at the tray and then averted her eyes back to her own lunch. "I could never understand how you eat that shit every day." She gagged._

_Spencer let out a breathy laugh. "And I could never understand how you eat 'that shit' every day."_

_Heidi smirked and nudged him in the arm. "So, I have to go to my locker before we go back to class." She said as she unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite. "Wanna sneak outta here a few minutes early with me?"_

_Spencer looked over his shoulder at the teachers who stood guard every day making sure no one got out of the cafeteria before lunch was over. "How are we gonna get past the boss man over there?" He pointed his thumb behind him._

_Heidi shrugged, taking another bite out of her sandwich. "I don't know... How does everyone else manage to do it?"_

_They sat in silence for a few minutes and ate their lunch as they pondered a way to get out of the cafeteria early._

_"I have an idea." Spencer spoke up. "We'll go over to the table and act like we're getting forks or napkins or something and as soon as Mr. Benton looks away, we run."_

_Heidi was unsure if this would actually work but she was willing to do anything if it meant getting to be in the hallways alone with Spencer again. She wanted a redemption._

_"Follow my lead." Spencer said as he grabbed his lunch tray and stood up from the table._

_The two wandered over to the utensils and condiments table and loitered there for a moment or two before Mr. Benton turned his back to them._

_"Go!" Spencer whispered in her ear and they booked it out of the cafeteria and down the hallway. They raced around the corner and down a little further until they hit Heidi's locker._

_Heidi was hunched over trying to catch her breath and Spencer was secretly celebrating his minor victory._

_"I didn't think that would actually work!" Heidi exclaimed._

_"Neither did I!" Spencer, equally as surprised, agreed._

_He pulled her into a hug and she savored every moment of it. She breathed in the smell of his Hollister cologne, and listened to his racing heart beat. When he pulled away from her, she reached up with both hands and grabbed his face. She pulled him into her and kissed him._


	26. Storm

Beth woke when the bus ran over a pothole and shook the whole bus. She grabbed her phone and noticed it was 5 minutes before her alarm was to go off so she figured she should just get up.

She wiped the sleep from her eyes as she stumbled out into the lounge where Emily and Marcus were already awake and having cereal together.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty." Marcus acknowledged.

Beth lifted her hand and let it fall to her side in a weak attempt at waving to him. As she was grabbing a cereal bowl, she gazed out the window at the foggy weather and gray sky. "Think it's going to rain today?" She asked.

"They say we're supposed to have a huge storm. They're thinking of postponing this date of the tour, it's going to be that bad." Emily informed.

Beth scooted into the booth next to Emily with her cereal. "Seriously?" She sounded beat. "We have a week left. I'm so exhausted and I'm so ready to go home."

Marcus chuckled. "We are home."

Beth's head shot up from her cereal. "Wait. What's today?"

"August 1st, baby." Marcus smiled.

"We're home!" Beth exclaimed.

August 1st was the day she had been waiting for since the start of tour. August 1st was the day tour rolled into their hometown and she couldn't be more excited to see her Dad.

Her phone buzzed on the table and she glanced down to see a text from Andy.

**Andy: You busy?**

**Beth: I just woke up, why?**

**Andy: Rumor has it there's supposed to be a surprise band for this date. Any idea who it could be?**

**Beth: No idea. I would think you would know before me.**

"Some people have been saying AFI is here?" Spencer walked out into the lounge, ruffling the back of his head.

Beth ran up to him and grabbed him by both shoulders. Her eyes were wild. "Did you just say... AFI?AFI is here. In our home town. AFI."

Spencer tried to draw away from her but her grip on him was too tight. "That's what everyone has been saying. I don't know if it's true though."

Beth released her venom grip on him and relaxed her shoulders. "If AFI is here," She stated as calmly as possible. "I will literally have a heart attack."

"Oh...kay..." Spencer said and brushed past her. "If today's set gets cancelled or postponed or whatever, can we go hang out with your dad at your house for a bit?" He grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and started pouring his cereal.

Beth rested her hands on her hips and let her spine curve into a slumped position. "Yeah, I guess I don't see why not."

"Your dad should come to tour and see you play for christ sake." Marcus piped up.

Beth shrugged and folded her arms over her chest. "I know..." She agreed. "He's been busy planning some reunion tour with his band mates and besides, I know he hates Warped Tour."

"He only hates it because of the people who go." Heidi appeared in the doorway. "But that's no reason not to come see you perform."

Beth looked over at her and then looked down at her feet. "It's whatever." She mumbled to herself.

"You went to all of his shows as a kid." Heidi continued. "You would think he would at least show up to one of yours."

"It doesn't matter!" Beth raised her voice at her. "I only went with him to his shows because there was no one else to take care of me after my mom died."

The room fell silent and a deep tension seeped in and spread throughout the room. Beth looked around at everyone before dashing to the bunks and closing the door. Heidi sat down on the couch and looked over at Spencer. He appeared to be ignoring her and avoiding confronting her about what had happened the other night. Marcus and Emily were too invested in themselves to even notice Heidi was there. She was alone in a room of people. She had dug a hole for herself that was too deep to get out of and now she found herself stuck. 


	27. Crash Love

**Andy: Can you come to my bus?**

**Beth: Can you not see it's raining outside?**

**Andy: You're histerical... Seriously, can you come over? Just quickly. I have a surprise.**

**Beth: I can't think of any surprise worth going outside for right now.**

**Andy: Trust me, this one is worth it.**

**Beth: Fine, but don't laugh when you see what the rain is going to do to my hair. I guess I straightened it for nothing**

Beth swiped some mascara over her lashes before slipping out of the bathroom and out through the lounge past the rest of her band mates.

"Where are you off to?" Spencer asked, catching her just before she walked out the door.

Beth glanced over at Heidi who was intently listening for her answer. "Um... Just a quick walk."

"But it's raining outside." Spencer, the captain of obvious, stated.

"No shit, Spencer, thank you." Beth said sarcastically. "I just-- I'll be right back."

Spencer decided to just give up and let her go on her merry way. It wasn't worth trying to weasel an answer out of her, especially after the tension that went down earlier.

Beth stepped off the bus and onto the soaking pavement. She flipped the hood of her sweatshirt over her head in an attempt to save her hair from disaster. She weaved through buses and busy roadies trying to set everything up for the day despite the hovering possibility that the day might not even happen at all. She noticed a strange unmarked bus parked next to BVB's bus as she approached. After being with the same people every day for close to three months, you start to notice when there's something new. She shook the thought from her mind and pounded on the door of Andy's bus.

"Andy!" She called as the rain began to fall harder.

Andy appeared in the window of the door and just stood there and smiled at her soaking wet in the rain. He crossed his arms over his chest and just watched her as she grew even more wet and more angry.

"Andrew Biersack, you better let me in or I will cut your head off." Beth threatened.

He opened the door. "Which head?" He winked and she smacked his arm forcefully.

"Don't be crass." She scolded.

He laughed at her comment and lead her inside the bus. She followed behind him and as he moved aside and out of her way, she saw the one and only Davey Havok, lead singer of AFI, sitting on his couch.

Beth felt her heart begin to race so fast she thought it might explode. Her arms and legs grew numb and limp and she almost fell to her knees. Sitting in front of her was the man who changed her life; the man who shaped her into the person she was today.

"D-D-What?" She stuttered, trying to remember how to speak basic English but all the words inside her mind jumbled up into balls and she could decipher or comprehend anything. She never thought this day would come. She always dreamed that one day, she would meet AFI, the band who helped her with so much but she knew that would only ever be a dream, until today.

Davey stood up and smoothed out his slacks and straightened his shirt. He was always so proper and fashionable. She loved that about him. He smiled slightly at the sight of her and began to approach the bewildered Beth standing in the middle of Andy's bus looking like a deer in headlights.

Andy watched as Davey walked closer to Beth and held out his hand for her to shake. She looked down at his extended hand and started to tear up.

"Oh my god." She whispered. "I'm so sorry." She laughed and wiped the tears away from her face.

"That's quite alright." Davey spoke and Beth felt as though the Heavens had just sung to her.

"Can I..." Beth held her arms out hesitantly.

Davey chuckled. "Of course."

He embraced her and Beth could feel her soul leaving her body and ascending into Heaven. He smelled of the most expensive cologne on the market and his arms were strong around her small frame. He was taller than her, so she rested her cheek against the collar of his shirt and closed her eyes, taking in each millisecond.

When Davey could feel Beth wasn't planning on letting go of him any time soon, he shot a look at Andy. He smiled weakly for he knew his music must mean a lot to her, but he had to be getting back to his bus across the way to get ready for their surprise set.

"Beth." Andy said, but she remained still with her eyes closed and a content smile plastered on her face. "Beth." He said a little louder but she still stood there with her arms wrapped tightly around Davey's waist. "Beth!" He shouted and she opened her eyes and furrowed her brow at him. "Davey has to get ready for their set."

She pulled back and looked at him. "You guys are the surprise band?!"

He smiled at her again. "Yes, our first time back on Warped Tour since 2006 I believe. Don't know if we'll ever come back for a full tour or not."

"You guys just played Coachella though, didn't you?" Beth interrogated. "Surely you can do Warped again."

"Alright," Andy stepped in. "We'll be sure to catch your set later on." Andy said to Davey.

"See you both later." He nodded at the two of them before stepping outside with his umbrella and walking the short distance to his bus on the other side.

"DAVEY HAVOK?!" Beth screamed as soon as he was gone. "DAVEY HAVOK. I WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF DAVEY HAVOK."

"Yes you were." Andy pat her on the back and just shook his head with a goofy grin on his face. She was the cutest thing he had ever seen. The way she reacted to Davey, the sassy sarcasm when she mentioned her hair and the fact that it still looked perfectly fine to him, and just the way she was. Everything about her had him in the palm of her hand and she didn't even know it.


	28. The broken hearted; The damaged just like me

Heidi sat rigid with her hands on her thighs and her palms sweating through her skinny jeans. She didn't want her and Spencer to go through a whole other weird period between them because she kissed him again.

"Em and I are gonna go see what that storm watch meeting is about over in the catering tent. We'll keep you guys posted if they mention anything important." Marcus noted and walked off the bus hand in hand with Emily.

Heidi watched the two saunter off together into the rain. Marcus pulled Emily in close to him and held his hoodie over her head so she wouldn't get wet. She giggled as they splashed through puddles and Marcus cracked jokes. That was all Heidi wanted; someone she could be her complete and total self with. She just didn't know how. She grew up thinking that she had to be a certain way. The way she was wasn't good enough. She was weird.

She looked up at Spencer who was putting his empty cereal bowl in the sink. "Should we talk?" She asked.

"About what?" He said without looking up at her.

"About..." She hesitated for a moment. Maybe she shouldn't mention it. But then again, she let so many moments in her life just go away without even a second thought. "You know... Our kiss the other night?"

Spencer stopped washing his dishes and turned off the sink. He turned to look at her but remained where he stood. "It was just an accident," He said. "It's fine. I'm over it."

"But I don't want to just forget about it like it never happened." Heidi stood up. "It happened.

"Yeah," Spencer moved past her towards the bunks. "It happened. Now, let's move on."

"No!" She shouted and stamped her foot like a toddler.

"Fucking Christ." Spencer groaned under his breath as he tilted his head back and rubbed his face with both hands in utter defeat. "Fine. Sit." He motioned to the couch.

Heidi sat and Spencer sat next to her. "What is this about?" He asked.

"The kiss, I-" Heidi started but Spencer cut her off.

"No, what is this _really_  about?" He insinuated.

Heidi looked at her lap. Visions of high school flash flooded through her mind like a hurricane storm. "You know what it's about."

Spencer leaned back into the cushions of the couch. "That was, what, four years ago? Just fucking let it go. We're adults now. Things have changed."

"But have they?" Heidi was quick to respond.

Spencer's eyes rolled into the back of his head. "Alright... Some...things have changed." He said slowly.

"But our high school crushes never did." Heidi admitted.

Spencer shook his head. "No, nope. We can't. I can't. We can't." He kept repeating. "I love Beth."

"She doesn't love you." Heidi retorted. Her words stung like venom. "But I do."

"You wanna know why this won't work? Because you're fucking crazy, okay? What do you not get about that?" Spencer ranted. "You have to learn that your problems are not the only ones in this world. Did you know Emily didn't even have a home when we hired her? She was living on the streets and crashing on friends' couches and eating off the dollar menu at McDonald's for every meal. She played guitar for money and barely made enough to buy two meals a day. But no, you were too absorbed in your own problems to even realize that your 'just shy of perfect world' isn't the only thing that matters."

"Fuck you." Heidi spat at him with tears welling up in her eyes.

"You can fucking curse at me all you want, but it's not going to change the fact that you're the most self absorbed person on this planet. I've tried to be nice to you and help you solve your problems when you needed me, but I don't know if I can be that person for you anymore." Spencer declared.

Heidi's ears were ringing with the sound of Spencer's yelling. She sniffled and rubbed her nose as she sat on the edge of the couch cushion staring down at her velvet, peep toe, ankle boots.

Spencer sat and shook his head as he tried to comprehend the past week he's had with Heidi. "Look," He continued. "We're only home for today and then we move on to the next city. Let's just enjoy the time we have here at home today and come back to this tomorrow."

Heidi shook her head and shrugged slightly. "Fine."

In an attempt to comfort her, Spencer wrapped an arm around her shoulder and let her sink into him. Spencer could only think that Heidi, despite the wrath she bestowed upon this tour, was also still a human being who had feelings and needs. What Spencer doesn't know is Heidi is one hell of an actress. 


	29. Coward

A hug from a parent is a one of a kind type of embrace. Beth had been away from her companion, her anchor, the only man who was ever truly there for her, for close to three months and she was finally seeing him again. She savored her first hug with her dad and let a rush of memories come back to her as she breathed in his scent and felt his strong, tattooed arms hold her close to his protective stance.

"I missed you so much." She mumbled into his chest and felt his small beer belly jiggle as he chuckled.

"I missed you, too, sunshine." He smiled and gave her a squeeze before letting go.

Beth looked around at her friends all standing there grinning at her reunion with her father. "So, Dad, you know Spencer, Marcus, Emily, and Heidi."

"Of course! My four other children." He joked.

"And," Beth moved over next to Andy and put her arm around his waist. "This is Andy."

Her dad took a few steps towards them and stopped, crossing his arms across his broad chest and looked them up and down, sizing Andy up. "Are you dating my daughter?" He questioned in his deep, demanding, and quite frightening voice.

Andy sputtered and tripped over his words. Was he supposed to say yes? They hadn't really established any kind of relationship yet and he didn't want to say the wrong thing. If he said yes prematurely, he would surely get Beth's hopes up. If he said no, well, that would just cause more problems than needed.

Beth's father watched Andy turn into a puddle of nerves before his eyes and he started to laugh. "I'm only kidding, son." He slapped a giant hand against Andy's upper arm. "You don't have to answer that."

"Dad..." Beth shook her head, slightly embarrassed by her father's antics.

"Well," He clapped his bear sized hands together, completely ignoring Beth's comment. "We don't have all day." And motioned for the group to follow him to the car.

Marcus and Emily walked side by side, hand in hand. Spencer floated along behind Beth, Andy and Beth's dad, desperately hoping to be involved in their conversation. Heidi trailed behind, observing everyone as they walked along. She knew she didn't belong here with all of them. She almost wished she hadn't agreed to join. After a few seconds, she noticed the sound of shoes pounding the sidewalk beside her clicking heels. She looked over next to her to see Ashley beaming at her.

She furrowed her brow. "What are you doing...?" She wondered.

"Oh," Ashley stuffed his hands in his jean pockets as he walked alongside her. "Andy said I could come. Said something about you being left out or something and thought I could keep you company."

"How nice of him..." Her voice flat-lined as she bore holes into the back of Andy's head with her poisonous glare. She knew why he invited Ashley. Ashley was a distraction to keep her out of the way of him and Beth.

"So, is this the Andy who's concert we went to last year?" Beth's dad asked as they approached his car.

"Your dad goes to my shows?" Andy asked, with a surprised tint to his voice.

Beth smirked. "He goes to every show with me."

"Except your own shows." Marcus coughed out under his breath. Emily swatted his arm and have him a glare.

"He can't be the perfect dad, you know." Emily argued.

Marcus rolled his eyes. "I don't expect him to be the perfect dad, but wouldn't you expect him to at least support his kid's dreams?"

***

Emily and Spencer sat on the floor watching some video on youtube together while Marcus was in the kitchen with Beth's dad. Andy and Beth sat on the couch, cuddled up in each other's arms with Beth slowly falling asleep on Andy's shoulder. Heidi sat across the room with Ashley; her heart burning inside her chest with rage and envy.

Ashley stared at Heidi for a few moments before he spoke. "You know, envy is one of the seven deadly sins." He pointed out.

Heidi blinked slowly and turned her head to look at him. "I am the seven deadly sins." She let her lips perform a seductive dance around each word she spoke to him. If Andy wasn't going to play her game anymore, she was going to get someone else to play with her.

Ashley chuckled. "Guess I'll see you in Hell, then."

"Oh, I'll be there." Heidi looked back at Andy and Beth. "And I'll be running the whole show."

Marcus and Beth's dad cracked a couple beers together and caught up on each other's lives. Marcus was like the son Beth's father never got the chance to have. Marcus embodied everything he used to be and it both excited and frightened him.

"You been keeping my Beth safe out there on the road?" Beth's dad asked, taking a quick swig of his beer.

"Of course I have." Marcus assured. "Got arrested in the process, but you know."

"Again?" Beth's father looked slightly disappointed.

"Oh, don't give me that sad, disappointed-in-you father look you always give me." Marcus complained and rolled his eyes. "You've done much worse than I have over the years." Marcus set his beer down on the counter.

"What are you getting at?" Beth's dad asked.

"Beth told me you've never been to a single one of our shows? What the fuck kind of a father does that make you?" Marcus began to raise his voice. "She went to all of your shows as a kid. You would think the least you could do is return the favor."

"I didn't want her to end up like me." Her father admitted but in a voice just as loud as Marcus's.

"This is Beth's dream. She looked up to you her whole life and playing music was all she wanted. To have her father not even support her?" Marcus shook his head.

"You are way out of line." Beth's father spat at him.

Marcus could feel his anger rising from his feet all the way up through his body and to his temples that started flaring with anger. Marcus's dad had always been a deadbeat and to watch Beth's father not even give a single fuck about his daughter's dreams and career goals was an extra stab to his heart next to the scar his own father had left him. Beth's dad was the first man in Marcus's life to take him in and treat him like his own son. But to see him act this way was unlike Beth's dad and Marcus couldn't take it anymore.

Everyone responded to the sound of glass shattering from the kitchen. Beth shot up and darted into the kitchen to see a broken bottle on the ground between Marcus and her dad. They both just stared at each other as the beer on the floor trickled into the tile and snaked its way across the floor.

"What the fuck are you two doing in here?!" Beth shouted at them.

"I'm sorry." Marcus apologize and held his hands up to reveal them covered in blood.


	30. Marcus

Everyone stared at the broken glass laying on the floor between Marcus and Beth's father. And eerie silence fell over the room and the only sound to be heard was the rain pelting against the windows in the kitchen, the wind howling outside, and a slight roar of thunder as it approached.  
  
"I'm sorry." Marcus finally spoke again, softly.  
  
Beth's dad looked at him and shook his head. "It's okay, son. It'll be okay. "  
  
_Marcus was pent up in his room, covering his ears with his hands and trying to ignore the fact that his parents were fighting, again. Marcus's mom was telling his dad that she was having another baby._  
  
_"Another fucking kid?!" He could hear his dad screaming._  
  
_"What do you want me to do, John? You're the one who refuses to wear condoms and then gets surprised when I end up pregnant?" His mother argued._  
  
_"That's what the stupid pill is for!" John shouted._  
  
_Marcus's mother rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. There was no way she was going to get her boyfriend to understand how the female anatomy worked. "Well, we're having another child, whether you like it or not. I'm not giving this child up. Besides, don't you think it would be good for Marcus to have a brother or sister around?"_  
  
_"Fuck that." John spat. "You know what would be good for that kid? To toughen up. That piece of shit is a worthless excuse for a boy. He needs to learn not to be such a fucking baby."_  
  
_"He's six years old, for gawd's sake!" Marcus's mother protested in her thick Jersey accent._  
  
_"I don't care how old he is, Marianne. He's not going to get anywhere in life if he doesn't assert his dominance like a true man."_  
  
_They continued to argue for another half hour and all Marcus could do was sit in his room and pretend they weren't just down the hall talking about him and his future brother. Or, well, he hoped it would be a brother._  
  
_The door to his room swung open and he saw his dad standing in the doorway. He stomped his way into Marcus's room in his torn up boots. He sat down on the bed next to his son and took in his sweet, innocent face._  
  
_"You gotta toughen up, boy." He forcefully patted his son on the cheek a couple times before standing and exiting the room._  
  
_Marcus watched his father leave and despite what a terrible person he was, Marcus wanted to be just like his dad. His dad was cool, and tough. No one wanted to mess with him and Marcus wanted to be just like that._  
  
_Months passed and his mother's belly grew and grew as well as the bruises on her arms, legs and sometimes face. Marcus's father was so angry at the child growing inside of her that he began to beat the poor woman in an attempt to kill it himself._  
  
_"Daddy?" Marcus tugged on the pant leg of his father's jeans. "Why are you hitting mommy?" He asked, his sweet, small voice sent a shooting pain of guilt through his father's heart._  
  
_"She was being bad." His father answered, ignoring the swelling emotions in his chest. "I'm just making sure she knows she was being bad, just like I let you know when you're being bad."_  
  
_In a way, Marcus understood what his father was saying. But what could his mother have possibly done that was so bad? Marcus always thought his mother was only full of good. She couldn't possibly do anything bad._  
  
_When his younger sister finally arrived, Marcus's father left them for good. Marcus was left thinking it was his turn to make sure his mom and sister had someone to protect them. After all, that's what his dad had taught him since day one._  
  
Marcus looked at Beth's dad and for the first time in his life, reached to him and held him in a long hug. Marcus's dad never hugged him. His mom was always too busy with her job and taking care of his sister to notice him. And Emily was the only other person he had ever touched in a romantic and endearing way in his life.


	31. Big bad babysitter

"Really, I'm..." Marcus stared down at the broken glass on the floor. He cut his hand when he smashed the beer bottle into the counter when his anger got the best of him.

Beth's dad put a hand on his shoulder. "I said it's okay, son. Don't worry about it." His white teeth shown through his burly beard. "I gotta get you kids back now, anyway." He shook the incident off like it was nothing. "I'll clean up when I get home.

Marcus could feel the guilt of his anger rise through his body. Just because he was angry at his father for walking out on him didn't mean he had to take that anger out on the only man he had ever been able to consider his father.

_Marcus had just turned eighteen a week ago and already is mother was trying to push him out of the house and get him to find a job and get an apartment of his own._

_"Ma, what do you expect me to do? I have no diploma, no GED, no college degree, and I just turned 18 last week." Marcus complained._

_"I don't know, Marcus." His mom snapped back at him, causing his younger sister to cower in fear behind his strong build. She swung her glittered purse over her shoulder and popped her gum as she strutted in her tall heels towards the door, her breasts spilling over her too tight top. "Figure somethin' out."_

_Marcus rolled his eye as his mom walked out of the house in her literal stripper heels and slinky skirt. His mom had resorted to exotic dancing at nights to help pay bills since it was the only way she could earn fast cash aside from her day waitressing job._

_The door slammed shut behind her and his sister, Jessie, ran up to the window to watch their mom's car back out of the driveway and zoom down the neighborhood street. She turned back to Marcus and gave him a devious grin. "So..." She lead on._

_"You look like you're up to something." Marcus noticed, and dodged at his younger sister trying to tickle her in all the places he knew she would squirm._

_"Stop!" She cried as she giggled and fought back against him. Marcus backed off and Jessie caught her breath. "So, I have a date tonight! Can I go?"_

_"A date?" Marcus asked. "With you? One of your friends?"_

_"No, like a boy, Marcus." He hit his arm playfully._

_"Jessie, you're fourteen years old! You can't be dating yet." Marcus said as he tried to send her up to her room._

_She refused to budge. "But I already told him I would go out with him tonight! I knew mom would be going to work and you would be taking care of me. C'mon, Marcus, you're supposed to be the cool brother." She pouted, folding her arms across her chest._

_Marcus observed the way she pouted and sulked. He knew she would keep this up all night if he didn't let her go. Besides, he thought, nothing too bad could possibly happen to her. Everyone at her high school knew who he was. He was Marcus Sintori, the classic high school bad boy who dropped out during his junior year. No one would mess with his little sister if they knew they'd have to go through him first._

_His face softened. "Alright." He agreed. "But please be home by eleven. And I want you to take my phone in case anything happens and you need me. Okay?"_

_"Yay, Marcus thank you!" She hugged her brother but he refused to reciprocate. He didn't like when people touched him, not even his own sister. "Sorry..." She pulled back. "I know you don't like hugs."_

_Marcus shook his head. "It's fine." He smiled at her but behind his smile he wasn't sure it was all going to be fine. And his instinct was right._


	32. The blushing moon

Beth couldn't help but feel tears welling up behind her eyes as she said goodbye to her dad and boarded the bus with the rest of the band. They'd be home again in a weeks time but a weeks time was too long after a three month tour of love, loss, depression, torture, hospital visits, mental break downs, and arrests but still having the greatest time of their lives.

"Beth, look!" Spencer tapped her arm furiously trying to get her attention.

When Beth looked out the windshield of the bus, she saw the moon looking bigger than she'd ever seen it before. It looked so close she felt as though she could reach out and touch it with her own hands. It was flushed with a pinkish red color, almost as if the moon was blushing at the sun and the earth was watching their romantic encounter, a strange observer.

"Oh my god," She breathed. "That's so beautiful."

Spencer watched her eyes grow wide with admiration for the way the moon appeared in the sky. He couldn't help but blush himself, for she looked so beautiful with stars in her eyes. Spencer was Beth's moon; hiding in the shadows to let her shine, and helping her when she needs to rest. Beth was Spencer's sun; the brightest object in his life; what his world revolved around.

Marcus was laid up in bed with Emily's shoulders under his arm and her head resting lightly on his chest. She was so tiny compared to his large, muscular frame. He glanced at her slumbering face of innocence and thought of his sister.

" _Marcus, please. I need you to pick me up." His sister's voice sounded grave and frantic over the phone._

_"I will." Marcus was urgent. "Where are you? I'll be there as fast as I can."_

_"At the corner of Pleasant and South. Please, hurry. I'm scared." She let the phone go silent._

_Marcus's head was spinning with all different thoughts of the worst kind: rape, abuse, battery, assault. Anything could have happened to her and he didn't know what was wrong. He wouldn't know until he got to her. She refused to tell him over the phone, and that made him even more worried._

_Marcus jumped in his truck and whipped down the street to pick up his sister. He was more than half way there when a cop car pulled out behind him and turned his lights on. Marcus ignored it and kept speeding down the road to his sister. He wasn't about to let anything stop him from getting to her in time._

_He pulled up next to the corner where his sister stood under the street light, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. A big black circle was forming around her left eye._

_"What the fuck happened?!" Marcus shouted. The police sirens grew closer as the cop pulled up behind Marcus's truck._

_"H-He punched me!" Jessie cried. "He punched me in the face because I refused to kiss him. I just.. I wasn't ready for that yet!"_

_"Who did?" Marcus demanded._

_"I did." Ryan, a guy Marcus went to high school with, stepped into the light._

_"You bastard!" Marcus spit._

_"Hey!" Another voice added itself into the conversation. Everyone turned to look at the police man approaching the three of them. "What's going on here?"_

_Marcus ignored the officer and lunged at Ryan, beating the devilish smirk right off his face. He pinned Ryan down on the ground and began pounding him in the face as the officer attempted to pull Marcus off._

_"He hurt my sister!" Marcus was shouting over and over again with each deadly blow to Ryan's face._

_"Marcus, stop! Please!" Jessie was crying again and Marcus stopped at the sound of her voice just long enough for the officer to cuff him._

_"Hey!" Marcus protested. "What are you doing?! Get off me!"_

_The officer shook his head. "You're under arrest for resisting to pull over for an officer, speeding, and battery."_

_Marcus was led to the flashing car. "What about my sister? He hurt her! He should be the one getting arrested here, not me! She's 15 for fuck's sake!"_

_The officer ignored his pleas and shoved him into the back of his cruiser. Marcus glared out the window at Ryan's smug, blood stained smile. He averted his eyes to his sister. "Call mom!" He called out to her through the thick window._

_His voice was muffled but she knew what he had said. Jessie nodded in understanding and stood there still under the light, watching her brother get carted off to the station. She was alone again. She was always alone._


	33. I do

"Good morning." Emily's already soft voice whispered in his ears. "Happy birthday!" A hint of excitement added a slight volume to her voice but Marcus just turned over in bed and allowed his back to face her.

He never really enjoyed his birthday and it was mostly because he didn't want to celebrate his life. His life was shit.

"Oh, come on." She tried pulling on his shoulder to turn him around again. "You're sister is coming today, isn't she?"

Marcus's eyes opened instantly and he sat up too quickly, banging his head against the top of his bunk. "Fuck!" He shouted, rubbing his sore forehead while Emily chuckled beside him.

"I'm excited to meet her." Emily admitted. "I never got to meet my sister. I hope she'll like me."

Marcus kissed Emily's forehead gently. "I don't see a reason why she wouldn't." He smiled at her blushing cheeks.

Emily loved Marcus, and despite the two of them being together for a while now, she was still afraid of telling him. Marcus didn't love anyone. His sister, sure, but Emily knew it was hard for Marcus to accept the emotion of love and she didn't want him getting angry with her.

Emily smiled weakly at him and let the thought drift about in her mind. "I'll get us some breakfast." She said, standing but Marcus grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

He got out of the bed and looked at her small, porcelain face with her wide eyes, perfectly arched brows, plump pink lips, and her button nose. He wondered how in the world he got so lucky. Emily was the type of girl who liked having a man to protect her. Marcus loved girls who were small and delicate, just the ones in need of protecting. They were a match made in heaven.

"There's something you need to know...about my sister..." He finally spoke.

****

"Uncle Marcus!" Abigail, his six year old niece called out and ran across the parking lot into his arms.

He picked her up and swung her around in the air, giving her a peck on the cheek before setting her down. "Hey munchkin!" He smiled, rubbing the top of her head and messing up her hair. She always got annoyed with him when he did that and Marcus found it incredibly entertaining.

Jessie followed not too far behind her daughter and gave Marcus a smile. "How've you been? She's been asking about seeing you every day." Abigail grabbed onto her mother's hand as Jessie spoke.

Marcus nodded. "Good. Tour is crazy but what else would you expect."

"Well," Jessie held out an envelope . "Happy birthday, big man. Twenty-four already."

"Jess, you didn't have to--" But his sentence was cut off when Abigail started calling for him againand tugging on the hem of his shorts.

"Uncle Marcus, Uncle Marcus!" She called.

"What's up buttercup?" He knelt down so he could be at eye level with her.

"Who's that?" Abigail pointed at someone approaching them.

Marcus craned his neck to see Emily striding effortlessly towards them. "That's my friend, Emily. Do you want to meet her?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" Abigail jumped up and down excitedly. "She looks like a mermaid!"

Marcus chuckled and waved Emily over. "Emily, this is my niece, Abigail."

"Well," Emily spoke softly and knelt down in front of Abigail. "It's very nice to meet you."

"You're pretty!" Abigail exclaimed and touched Emily's pastel green curls. "Are you a mermaid?"

Emily giggled. "Shh, it's a secret. But yes, I am. Would you like mermaid hair like me, too?"

Abigail gasped with delight.

"We have to make sure it's okay with your mommy first." Emily said.

"Mommy, please?!" Abigail begged.

Jessie looked at Emily with a skeptic look.

"It's washable, I promise." Emily informed.

Jessie nodded. "Alright, it's okay with me."

"Yay!" Abigail hugged Emily tightly. "I love you, Emily." She said. "Do you love Marcus? Is he your boyfriend? Are you guys going to get married?"

Emily laughed at the spew of questions. "Yes, Marcus is my boyfriend."

"Do you love him?" She asked again.

Emily looked up at Marcus. "I do."

"Marcus, do you love Emily?" Abigail asked. "You haaave to. She's a mermaid!"

Marcus smiled slightly, and nodded. "I do."


	34. I got you, babe

**_"You have to tell your mom about this!"_ **

**_"She cant! Her mom will literally skin her alive."_ **

_**"Then at least tell your brother. He'll know what to do."**   
_

_The voices of her friends rang in her ears as she approached Marcus. If she was going to tell anyone, it would have to be Marcus. She was only fifteen. What was she supposed to do? She didn't know anything about really anything._

_She took in a deep breath. "Marcus?"_

_Her brother turned around and saw her standing there with a distressed look on her face. "What's up? Is everything okay?"_

_Jessie shook her head and burst into tears. "You can't tell mom, okay? You can't tell her."_

_"Can't tell mom what? What did you do?" Marcus was afraid that Jessie was beginning to turn into him. But that was actually the least of his worries._

_"I'm sorry." She sobbed._

_"Jessie, just tell me." Marcus insisted._

_She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a plastic stick that looked like a thermometer. She handed the stick to him and he looked at it. He saw two bold red lines glaring back at him. He dropped the test stick on the floor and gawked at her._

_"You're fucking pregnant?!" He almost spat at her, he was furious._

_She was still sobbing and nodded. "I'm sorry! I don't know how it happened!"_

_"It was that asshole, wasn't it. He raped you, didn't he?" Marcus gritted his teeth._

_"No, Marcus, h-he didn't! I don't want you to go to jail again." She sobbed and gasped for breath between heaves of tears. "It was all my idea. I-I wanted to know what it was like. You and mom do it all the time. I wanted to do it, too."_

_"First of all," Marcus tried to contain his anger. "It's practically mom's job to sleep with men. Second of all, I'm almost nineteen years old and have been with Amy for almost five months now. You're only fifteen years old. You can't be going around having casual sex with older guys in high school. This is what happens." He waved his hand in the direction of the positive pregnancy test lying at his feet._

_"Do you love Amy?" Jessie asked._

_Marcus rolled his shoulders back and cracked his neck before dropping his eyes to the floor. He swallowed hard. "No."_

"Marcus, look!" Abigail ran up to him with a piece of paper in her hands. "I drew this for you!"

Marcus took the piece of paper from her and looked down at it. He smiled. "Is that Emily?" He pointed to the stick figure with curly green hair.

Abigail nodded. "Yeah and that's you!" She pointed at the figure next to Emily. She gave him big, cartoon like arms with various scribbles on them to represent his tattoos. The arms of each figure overlapped to signify that the two people in the picture were holding hands. She drew a big red heart in between them and a yellow sun in the corner with a happy face on it. "See, the sun is happy because you guys are in love!"

"I love it." Marcus smiled and hugged his niece. He kissed the top of her head before rising to his feet and placing the drawing on the counter.

Jessie emerged from the back and scooped Abigail up in her arms. "Ready to go watch Uncle Marcus play his big drum set on stage?"

Abigail gasped and dramatically clasped her hands over her mouth. "Yes!" She exclaimed. "Does Emily play a big drum too?"

Marcus chuckled and Emily joined his side at the sound of her name. "I play a guitar. It's really cool. I'll show you when we get to the stage. Does that sound good?"

Abigail nodded furiously. "You guys are so cool. Mommy, I wanna be like Emily and Marcus when I grow up."

Jessie laughed. "Okay, sweetheart, whatever you want to be, you can be." She looked at Marcus. "You guys have those headphone things for her right? I don't want her hearing to be shot at age six."

"Don't worry." Marcus patted his younger sister on the back. "I got you covered."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can start giving comment shout outs if I get comments. I usually never post author's notes just because it's a little different on here than the other sites I use, but if you guys would like comment shout outs, I definitely don't mind giving them


	35. Pull the thorns from your heart

Abigail pointed at various things as the roadies were setting up Maiden Voyage's equipment for their set. Marcus was helping them set up his drum equipment and Spencer always helped with the guitar tech check and the mic checks.

"Check, check, check." Spencer yelled into the microphone until he was heard by the sound guy who gave him a thumbs up.

Emily wandered over to where Abigail and Jessie were with the big set of noise blockers for Abigail to wear. She knelt down and smiled at the young girl. "Are you excited?" Emily asked.

Abigail grinned. "Of course!" She played with Emily's hair.

"Good." Emily giggled. "These are for you to wear. It's really loud on stage so these will protect your ears from the really loud noise."

"Will I still be able to hear you guys play your music?" Abigail wondered.

Emily nodded. "It just won't be really, really loud." She explained. "We don't want your ears getting hurt. Marcus plays his drums too loud sometimes."

Abigail giggled with Emily and gave her a hug before giving the headset to her mother to put on her head. They were a little heavy, but she felt really cool.

On the other side behind the stage, Heidi was putting her ear plugs in and getting her bass ready. She felt a tap on the shoulder and spun around to see Ashley standing there with a slight grin on his face.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. She never expected Ashley to show up to their set. She figured seeing them once would be enough for him.

Ashley shrugged. "I just wanted to say good luck today. And..." He trailed off and looked at the dusty sand at his feet. "I wanted to... Never mind." He said. "Good luck today."

She gave him a weak smile and turned to get ready to walk up the stairs to get on stage. She glanced over at Beth and Spencer doing their last minute good luck warm up and then over to Marcus and Emily who were sharing one more brief kiss before it was time to go on. Everyone in the band had some kind of good luck ritual and someone to share it with. Heidi had herself, and no one ever offered her good luck, except for today.

_Ashley._

"Heidi, what the fuck, go!" She was snapped out of her day dream when she heard the roadies yelling at her to go on stage.

"Shit." She mumbled to herself as she hoisted herself up the stairs and onto the stage. She waved at the cheering crowd before getting to her spot and waiting for Beth to give the cue.

They played through their first song and the crowd went wild for them. The crowds had grown bigger and bigger with each passing day of tour and now that it was almost over, their crowd at the Monster Energy tent was bigger than some bands playing on the main stage had.

"Shit." Beth said into the mic and the crowd laughed in unison. "Well, for those of you who don't know us, we are Maiden Voyage. We come from a small town in New Jersey and we're so psyched to see all of you here today to watch us play. When we started this tour, we never expected to be rounding in crowds this huge and to see all the support we've gotten this summer from all our new and old fans brings this great sense of joy and accomplishment to all of us. We want you to know that all of you are important to us individually and we don't just see you as another fan in the crowd. We see you as people like us and we would love to meet all of you. We'll be doing a signing over at our merch tent right behind you so come see us after the show and get a t-shirt and some hugs from all of us. We love you guys so much, and this next one's called 'Healing.'"

The crowd cheered as Spencer, Emily, Heidi and Marcus went into the intro. Beth sang and jumped around and pointed at Abigail a couple of times rocking along next to her mom to make her feel included.

Towards the end of the last song, Beth went over and reached out to Abigail and brought her out on stage with her. The crowd went wild and Beth kept singing as she danced around with Abigail in her arms. Abigail laughed and jumped around with Beth. When the song ended, Abigail waved goodbye with Beth and blew a big kiss to the audience in front of her.

Marcus chuckled to himself. "This kid is gonna go places in entertainment." He silently said to himself as he watched his niece play it up for the crowd. She was smart enough to know they were loving every minute of her and she couldn't seem to get enough.

Marcus ran to the edge of the stage and chucked his drumsticks into the audience for a lucky fan to catch, then scooped up his niece in his arms, giving her a big kiss on the forehead and walking her off stage.

"Uncle Marcus, that was so much fun!" Abigail exclaimed.

"I'm glad you had fun, munchkin." He rubbed her head and messed up her hair like he always did.

Heidi sped past them and went to put her bass away. She didn't have a single clue what she was going to do with the rest of her day, but she knew she was going to spend it as far away from the band and Marcus's family as possible.

"Hey." A man's voice spoke behind her and she turned to see Ashley standing behind her with his hands behind his back.

"Hey..." Heidi replied.

"You did great." Ashley complimented.

"You watched the set? Like, the whole thing?" Heidi was at a slight shock. She thought her and Ashley had agreed on just being hook up buddies. Hook up buddies didn't watch each other's sets and hang out like friends.

"Well, yeah, of course I did." Ashley smiled. "I was going to give you these before but I figured it would be better for after." He revealed a small bouquet of roses from behind his back and handed them over to her.

Heidi adored roses and she wondered how he had ever found out she loved them so much. They were beautiful, but they were also tough with thorns. "Wow," She finally spoke. "Thank you. These are beautiful."

Ashley shrugged. "I just... I really like you, Heidi. And I know what we said before--"

"Fuck what we said before." She smiled. She could hear Spencer's voice in the back of her mind telling her to go for this. Ashley was a guy who actually liked her. This was all she had ever wanted, ever since she was young. She figured, now was a better time than ever to finally pull those thorns from her heart.


	36. Love drunk

Heidi stared at Ashley with the roses resting in her arms like a child. Had he liked her all this time and she just never knew?

"I've liked you ever since we started hanging out." He said. "Well, by hanging out I mean... You know what I mean."

Heidi smiled, the bright red lipstick bringing out the whiteness of her teeth. "I know." She nodded. "And I'm sorry about that." It was the first time she had ever apologized to someone in quite some time. She figured she was always apologizing in high school for being so unattractive. Now that she was all that she could ever imagine, she didn't feel the need to apologize for anything. Until now. Until she realized she fucked up.

"What do you say we get out of here?" Ashley smirked.

Heidi felt like she was in a dream. She could feel her heart floating on air, until reality hit. "The signing. I'm late for our signing. Fuck." She realized. She threw the roses back at Ashley and turned swiftly on her heel. "I'll text you when I'm done!" She called back to him as she ran away.

Ashley clutched the roses against his chest and for the first time in his life, felt his heart flutter. Heidi was his girl; well, he hoped she was. She was everything he'd ever wanted in his life.

Heidi hurried through crowds of people and slipped into her place next to Spencer under the tent. "I'm sorry..." She apologized.

"Where have you been?" Spencer looked at her.

"With Ashley." Heidi smiled, hearts in her eyes.

Spencer paused, signed a poster for a fan, then looked at her and nodded. "Good. I think he'll be good for you."

Heidi signed a CD and handed it off to Spencer to sign. "I knew you were going to say that." She nudged him in the arm with her shoulder. Ashley admitting his feelings for Heidi changed her whole demeanor. She felt like she had wanted to feel her whole life. "He gave me roses." She leaned over to tell Spencer.

Spencer looked at her with a big smile on his face. "Wow. For Ashley, that's a big deal."

"I know!" Heidi squealed.

A fan approached Heidi and smiled weakly. He had heard rumors of Heidi being a stone cold bitch but she was his favorite in the band. "H-hey." He stuttered. "I just, I just wanted you to have this." He gave her a letter. "I really love you. You're my favorite in the band and you inspired me to start playing bass and I know--"

Heidi cut him off by reaching out to him for a hug. Heidi never hugged fans but she was so high on cloud Ashley, she couldn't help but feel like hugging fans today. She kissed his forehead and smiled, seeing she left a red lipstick stain on his skin. He beamed with joy and moved on to Spencer.

Spencer signed his CD and looked at Heidi with confusion spread across his face. "That's unlike you."

Heidi shrugged. "I can't help it. Ashley is just so..." She sighed.

When the last couple fans had gotten through the line, Heidi ditched the tent and practically ran to the gate, flashing her badge at the security guard. She pulled her phone out, furiously texting Ashley letting him know that she was done with her signing.

She was so invested in her phone, she didn't even realize Ashley was texting her at the same time, and walking towards her. They collided, both their phones falling onto the pavement.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." She reached for her phone at the same time he did. Their hands touched and at first she pulled away, but then let her hand travel back to his.

"It's all good." He chuckled, smiling at their touching hands. He picked up both their phones and stood up while she followed his lead. He handed her phone to her and slipped his back in his pocket. "You ready? I think I've found the perfect place for us to go."

Heidi nodded furiously and took Ashley's extended hand. She was ready for the date of her dreams with a guy she never thought she'd be dating. As they walked by the BVB bus, she saw Andy watching them through the window, and everything she had felt for Ashley dissipated. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while drinking champagne and getting drunk on my 20th birthday. If this makes no sense when I read it sober, I might make some edits


	37. Your last day

The end of the summer had finally arrived and it was time for Maiden Voyage to play their last set of Warped tour. The moments leading up were bittersweet. Beth's mind raced back in time and filtered through everything that had happened from June until now. None of their dramatic issues had been resolved but at least they were all getting along for once.

Ever since Heidi's date with Ashley, she had been talking to Beth again, like they used to when they were teenagers.

"And then Ashley said..." Beth half listened to Heidi go on and on about Ashley and how perfect he was. She was happy for Heidi but she didn't want to listen to her any longer. It was their last show of the tour and she wanted to get herself into that performing zone she always got herself into before every set they did.

Beth stood side stage patiently waiting for it to turn 3:50 so they could start their set on time. She peeked out into the audience and her eyes scanned through the crowd. They settled on a large tattooed, balding man in the very back with a silver earring dangling from his right lobe and a scruffy beard surrounding his pursed lips.

"Dad?" Beth whispered to herself.

"Almost ready?" Spencer came up behind her and put an arm around her shoulders.

She looked over at him briefly and then back out at the crowd. The man was gone. "Y-yeah..." She trailed. "I thought I just saw my dad in the crowd... But... No, it couldn't have been him."

Spencer didn't say anything. He just stood next to Beth and let her sort through her thoughts, trying to shake the idea that there was a chance her father would show up to see their last set of tour.

The stage managers and stage hands were telling everyone to go and Beth slowly made her way out onto stage with the rest of her band. She stepped in front of the mic stand and looked out at the giant crowd in front of her. The moment the tip of her converse hit the bottom of the stand was the moment she realized that it was all over. The tour, the crowds, summer; Everything they had ever dreamed of was coming to an end, and they had no plans on what they were going to do next.

Beth shook herself out of her vegetative state and smiled at everyone looking up at her. "Thank you guys so much for coming out today." She began. "Final day of Warped Tour and we're all feeling a little sentimental." The crowd cheered for them. "Anyway," She continued. "This one's called Healing."

They played through the first song they always played and a couple more after that. Before Beth knew it, it was almost time for them to play their last song and then it would officially be over.

She grabbed a swig of water before skipping back over to the mic stand as the second to last song ended. Before she could introduce the last song, Spencer began to speak.

"Beth, I'm just gonna say something real quick if that's alright." Spencer said into his back up vocals mic. Beth nodded and he continued. "As a lot of you out there may know, Beth is the daughter of the very famous guitar player Arthur Gavin of Poison Sun." The crowd cheered. Everyone had heard of Poison Sun, even if they had no idea Beth was the daughter of Arthur Gavin. "So to make this last day of Warped Tour very special for Beth, we pulled some strings." Spencer played a note on his guitar.

Beth laughed at his corny joke and felt tears welling up behind her eyes. She didn't want tour to be over. She didn't want to leave Andy and the boys behind.

"Everyone give it up for Beth's father, and a second father to all of us here in Maiden Voyage: Arthur Gavin!" Spencer exclaimed and sure enough Beth's father emerged from the side of the stage.

Beth's mouth dropped open and she couldn't hold back her tears any longer. She ran up to her aging father and embraced him in a big bear hug. She never thought the day would come that he would come to one of her shows.

Spencer walked over and removed his guitar, handing it to Beth's dad. "Surprise." He winked at his daughter and walked over to the mic stand. "Warped Tour, how are you guys doing today?!" The crowd went wild. "When my daughter was a little girl, she went to almost all of my U.S. tours and traveled through the states with me, rocking out on side stage, cheering me on every night. As she grew older and decided she wanted to be just like her dad, I didn't want her to become like I had. Today, this final day of Warped Tour, is my very first Maiden Voyage show. And to celebrate, I brought some friends along to help me play my daughter's favorite Misfits song."

Beth looked behind her as the rest of Poison Sun came out and waved and smiled at Beth. She hadn't seen them in so long and to see Poison Sun reuniting during her dad's first Maiden Voyage show brought her to her knees. She was so overwhelmed with emotion that she broke down, her legs growing weak and her heart sore with nostalgia and the overflowing love of her dad and his band.

As they started in with the intro to Dig Up Her Bones, she felt someone come up behind her. Heidi helped Beth pick herself up off the ground and supported her best friend's body with her own. Despite their differences and all the drama that had occurred over the years, Poison Sun was always going to bring Heidi back to Beth, no matter how nasty Heidi had become. Seeing Beth's father finally supporting his daughter's dreams could melt anyone's cold heart; even Heidi's; at least for now.


	38. East Coast, West Coast

Despite it being August, the breeze that rolled through her open window was slightly chilled and spread goosebumps across her skin. She blindly reached for her soft brown blanket and pulled it up to her chin. She turned over and peeked through half open eyelids to see a slumbering Andy laying next to her. She allowed a tired smile to creep across her lips before letting her eyes slip shut again.

"Beth, wake up!" Someone was shaking her violently out of sleep.

"What time is it?" She groaned.

"Two in the afternoon. And I need to catch my flight home soon." Andy said, still shaking her.

Beth's brain starting making connections and before she knew it, she was throwing the blanket off her and bolting up from bed. "Two PM?! Already?!"

Andy chuckled at Beth's reaction. "I'm already packed and ready to go. Your dad said he would drive me. You can go back to sleep if you want."

Beth was stumbling into a pair of black leggings. "No, no. I want to be there to say goodbye when you leave. I don't know when I'll see you again."

Andy's lip turned down slightly at her words. She was right. They hadn't made plans to visit each other and the boys were most likely going to be busy in LA with writing and recording. "We'll figure something out." He said, grabbing his suitcase. He watched Beth's facial expression twist slightly into disappointment but what else was he supposed to say? He couldn't whip up a plan in five seconds to make her happy. He had to be real with her and he knew there was no way of telling what the future would have in store for them.

His mind spun around in his head and he tried to make sense of what to say. He laid the suitcase down on the bed and opened it up. After rummaging through, he took out his favorite Batman shirt and gave it to her.

She looked at the shirt and then back at him with wide eyes and a pout painted on her lips. "I can't..." She said, trying to push it back to him.

"I insist." He moved the shirt toward her again.

She tried to hold back her excitement and forced her smile to downsize as he pulled her old Poison Sun t-shirt off her and put on his Batman one. It fit baggy but she liked the way she felt in it. The shirt smelled of Andy and she could feel herself swimming in his presence.

"Let's get going." He zipped the suitcase and put it back on the floor. "As much as I want to stay, I can't miss my flight."

***

Everyone showed up to say goodbye to their new best friends. Marcus and Emily, Spencer, and even Heidi showed to say goodbye to Ash, but they all knew the real reason why she was there.

"Do you really have to go?" Beth asked for the twentieth time even though she knew the answer. She gazed up at Andy with a somber look plastered on her face.

Andy nodded and held his tongue for a moment before speaking. "Come with me." He held her by the shoulders.

Beth shook her head. "You know I can't. I'm not prepared to just up and leave like that."

"Flight 378 is now boarding." A voice sounded over the intercom, cutting between the two of them.

"I have to go." Andy said.

Beth let a single tear slip down her cheek as she practically collapsed in Andy's arms. He held her tightly and let her touch sink into him one last time before he had to part. From over her head, he looked up to see Heidi glaring at him and the green aura of envy surrounding her tall frame. Ash tapped her on the shoulder and pulled her into an embrace but never broke her gaze from Andy.

Emily, Spencer and Marcus said goodbye to Jinxx, Jake and CC as the two couples finished up their goodbyes. Ash and Andy quickly joined the rest of the group and the five of them made their way to the tunnel while Maiden Voyage all watched them depart. Beth ran to the large window overlooking all the plans as soon as Andy and the boys had disappeared. Emily came up beside her and put a loving arm around her shuddering shoulders. Beth felt the warmth of Emily's palm rubbing soothing circles on her upper arm as the two watched the plane take off; Beth still wearing his Batman t-shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I WILL be posting a sequel to this soon so be on the look out! It's going to be called Drag Me to the Grave. I can't wait to start it!


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